My thoughts…on stuff

Before I start this post, I’d just like to say, HALLELUJAH! Exams are over! I was gonna post yesterday, but I was so mentally exhausted that I just couldn’t bother. I really taxed my intellect this semester, and I was surprised as to what I was capable of. And I will achieve more in final year. Anyways, back to the post.

I haven’t kept up on gaming much, as schoolwork has absolutely consumed my time, but I have heard of all the hype surrounding GTA IV. I know that GTA is and has always been a game of controversy, but my God man, this time it’s been taken to ridiculous levels. Countless parents have been bawling again that GTA turns their precious snowflakes into delinquents. The gaming Anti-Christ Jack Thompson has been woken from his slumber once again to stop GTA’s sales to minors. New Zealand and Australia want the game tamed, again. You’d think a country that used to be a prison colony wouldn’t mind a bit of violence in their games.

But this time the hype has reached insane levels, which makes me ask myself, do people really know that this is a video game? It got to a point where Obama himself had to address it. He didn’t quite bash it, saying that these games were for adults and that they were raisng American kids (I knew there was a reason I liked him). In a beautiful case of art imitating life, a gamer got stabbed while waiting in line for the game. With such overwhelming publicity, there’s no wonder that it had the highest grossing opening day in entertainment history (Note: Entertainment, not gaming only), as it brought in US$186 million in its first 24 hours with 2.5 million copies sold in the US. Wow. That’s a lot of white punks that wanna play gangsta. I suppose they deserve it, as it had cost Rockstar US$100 million, making it the most costly videogame of all time.

Still, I can’t see why it’s so much more popular. It’s a great game. I mean which red-blooded young male doesn’t like rampant violence and lawlessness? But it’s the same ol’ story. Sure the game’s got new characters, new stories, online multiplayer (Dear God. Imagine the white kids dropping f-bombs and talking gangsta), a redesigned Liberty City, more realistic physics among other things, but its essence remains the same. I guess in the recession, people need to let off some steam.

Before I begin, let me apologize for my near week long absence. A killer combination of work and blogger’s block crippled my regular blogging routine. But things are back to normal, and so is this blog.

The world is feeling Halo 3 fever right now. The game has made a whopping $300 million in its first week. Seems like there are plenty fanboys eager to see the ending of Master Chief’s epic adventure. I feel that I should give the Halo 3 release its own post, but it doesn’t interest me all that much. I recognize the awesomeness of the game, but I’m not that familiar with Halo. I played it once, and that was when I borrowed a game from a kid at a game shop. Plus I wasn’t very good. But I digress.

However, in the midst of all this Halo hullabaloo, a Halo spinoff has gotten the proverbial Plasma Sword. The highly anticipated Halo movie, that was set for release next year, is officially dead. To quote filmmaker Neill Blomkamp, “the film is entirely dead.” The falling apart of the movie in 2006 was a dead giveaway, but fans were still hoping that things would be ironed out. But it looks like 20th Century Fox and Universal’s bickering doomed the project. This is very disappointing. I’m not much of a Halo fan, but I would loved to have seen it on the big screen. All the fun of Halo, without the steep learning curve of driving a Warthog. But I guess that’s all a fanboy’s dream now. But who knows? Hollywood’s running out of ideas. Why else would they make Taxi? And Blonkamp says there may be hope for it yet, just not in the foreseeable future. Let’s hope they come to their senses and pick up the project before the Halo hype dies.

Videogames. They defined my childhood as much as Power Rangers and stuck ‘n’ pull (tag for the Americans out there). So naturally E3 couldn’t miss me. But this year’s E3 was much different from the ones before it. It was a greatly scaled down version. And when I say scaled down, I mean scaled down. The entire event could hold in last year’s Sony booth. No shwag (geek lingo for free promotional stuff), no booth babes (damnit!), no noise, no big displays and no big crowds, as it was invitation only. It was basically a press conference for games. Normally I’d watch E3 non-stop, my eyes glued to the screen. But this year I could barely muster the interest to watch it for 15 minutes straight. They just took the fun out of it. As much of a gamer as I am, I can watch people talk about cellshading, realistic lighting, enhanced AI and using these minor improvements to justify the ridiculous price of their games.

Oh, and did I fail to mention the lack of new release info? Game companies are releasing less and less information about games and making their demos shorter and shorter, using that old carrot on a stick approrach, trying to create hype for their games. Many hardcore games are falling for it, making blog posts about these demos, each in their own way powering the hype, but I don’t know how someone can publish a post about a 3 minute clip of Halo 3. Think that’s why E3’s now a snoozefest. Sure there are financial reasons, but gaming now makes more money than movies (that is until someone figures out how to burn CDs). And with fans fueling the hype amongst themselves, all the extravagance of past years is not longer neccessary. Don’t think I’ll be watching next year. I’m still ticked about the booth babes. They’re the closest many of these socially inept gamers will come to being with a hot girl. But of any of you out-of-work booth babes need a job, I have several positions for you.

It’s no secret. The Chinese love their online games. In fact, when you think of PC gaming, the image of a short, socially inept Asian teen soon follows the image of a bratty, overprivileged Yankee brat swearin’ at everyone. And its not only the kids and teens. Even the adults are playing it. Apart from manufacturing counterfeits of popular Western brands, it seems to be their favourite pastime. Well now it’s gotten so bad that the Chinese government is considering clamping down on the amount of hours under-18s can spend on the computer playing online games. If they play for more than three consecutive hours, the points they score are halved. Guess they’re really into roleplay. I mean RPGs. Don’t get freaky and start making plans to go to China.

Those who play for five hours will get no points and be warned that they are entering “unhealthy game time.” Did you know that over 10% of them are classified as “addicted?” C’mon guys. There must something else you can do to escape the harsh reality of your rigid, communist society? How about girls? Well, you’ve got that “two kid” rule, so you have to be extra careful when firing your guns, if you know what I mean. Bonding with nature? Oh, right. Very little nature can be found in an industrialized country with over a billion locals. I’ve got it. How about good ol’ fashioned books? Meh, not such a good idea. And besides, in most classes the Asian kid is automatically the smartest anyway. And I know y’all can’t blog because the Chinese government isn’t too big on free speech. So I guess you should play on with all your wizards, knights and trolls. Just don’t do it too much. Because like Mama said, you’ll go blind if you click it too much.

The latest generation of consoles have gone head to head with each other for control of your living room and ultimately your life. This round of the console war has ended, and it was an interesting one indeed. These consoles offered more than the usual increase in processing power and release of games that pack more polygons. Whether it be an improved online experience, more intuitive controls, or more power than even the most hardcore gamer could use up, these consoles have truly revolutionized gaming, and were the object of many a fanboy’s wet dream.

Like the one in Iraq, the console war will probably never end. We all know of the fiasco surrounding the PS3. Now that was truly a battlefield, and not in the metaphorical sense, as there were real casualties. The others were tame in comparison. All were long, grueling tests of both endurance and patience. Christmas was a less savage battle, as the spoils were plentiful and the warriors consisted of less fanboys and more parents hoping to get that present that would make their children return their love. Yet it was the most crucial of all the battles. And we now have the bodycount. The Xbox 360 seems to be the victor, selling 2 million units. The Wii came in second, with 1.8 million units, impressive given the late release. The PS3 came dead last, with only 750,000 units sold.

Serves Sony right for the artificial scarcity I’m pretty sure they created. I mean 400,000 systems for 30 million fans? This either proves that Sony was involved in a corporate conspiracy to validate their price point and create some “bad” publicity, or they need to fire whoever’s in charge of market research. The Wii’s sales were probably boosted by the fact that it was targeted towards more casual and non-gamers. This was a clever marketing strategy, but I believe I speak for most gamers when I say I don’t want Mom and Dad interrupting my Twilight Princess to play Wii Sports. We get enough competition from our younger siblings, thank you very much.

Microsoft is touting the success of the 360. Understandable, as Microsoft hasn’t had much to brag about. The Zune is a flop, no one cares about Soapbox, Firefox is eating away at IE’s dominance, despite the release of its latest version, and Vista will probably receive a lukewarm reception at best. Given the fact that January to March is a sluggish period, console sales now will be negligible. So for now, the battle is over, but not the war.

Whoa. Two back to back console release posts. You don’t see that every day. The Nintendo Wii was released on Sunday, but if you blinked, you would’ve missed it, as it went largely unnoticed by the media. I guess when no one gets shot or beaten at your console launch, the media doesn’t really care, as bodily harm seems to sell papers. There was none of the EBay madness either, as people who bought the Wii actually were actually gamers who were interested in playing it, not opportunists trying to make a quick buck. A Mr. Jonathan Mann was the first to purchase the console, dressed in what else, a Mario hat and suspenders. A true fan if there ever was one. So in comparison to the PS3’s, the Wii’s release was modest. But that doesn’t make the console any less impressive.

The Wii is the console I’ve been rooting for, so I’m much more interested in its success than the others. I’ve been a Nintendo fan ever since I killed my first of many relatives of Daffy Duck in Duck Hunt. But my loyalty to the company waned during the rise of the Playstation. Now I want to return to the company that started my lifelong affair with gaming. Bias aside, I still prefer the Wii to the Playstation, because while Sony has focused on making the PS3 a hardware powerhouse, Nintendo has focused on what gamers really care about - the gaming experience. I don’t care about Bluetooth, Blu-ray or HDMI. That isn’t gonna enhance my gaming experience much. Give me a revolution-ary controller and a kickass nunchuk attachment and we’re in business! As for the Xbox 360…well who cares? We’re dealing with the new hotness!

There seem to be no bugs with the system, although there have been some complaints that the motion sensitive controller isn’t as intuitive as Nintendo claims. This remains to be seen. And in retrospect, there was no real need for fanboy violence, because there was no dramatic shortage. The units at launch sold out, but there are scheduled to be 4 million units out for Christmas. So fret not divorced dads. You can still buy your children’s love.

It’s that time of year again. The time when pasty fanboys, like the groundhog on Groundhog Day, rise out of their “holes” (mother’s basements) and assemble in front of retail stores, eagerly awaiting the release of the newest console. Armed with lounge chairs, tents, ice chests and many, many bags of Doritos, these brave warriors of the gaming world would let neither sleet, nor hail, nor dark of night would stop them from getting their hands on the coveted console. I covered the launch of the Xbox 360 last year around this time. It was outrageous, but nowhere on the scale of the PS3’s launch. Things have gotten much harder for geeks. I mean, having politicians trying to cut front of you, being shot, dislocating your jaw after running into a pole and rioting is a heck of a lot to endure for gaming system. Three 6 Mafia needs to change its song, ’cause it’s hard out there for a geek. Just ask Angel Paredes, the first to buy a PS3 in the U.S. He waited four days and endured heavy rains.

And if you think that’s bad, wait till you see what they’re going for on EBay! It’s crazy! The cheapest one I’ve seen was for $2,000. Way to make use of the college tuition Mom. Screw the stock market! Next gen consoles are the hot new investment! With all this prices, I can’t help thinking that Sony is behind these outrageous prices, anonymously selling them on auction sites to make super profit or to make it seem to the general public that if $600 really isn’t all that much. What happened to the days when all it took to be a gamer was a handful of tokens and fast twitch muscles? All this kicks off the rampant commercialism of Christmas. Yay Santa! Swoop down in your sleigh and take my hard earned money like the fat bastard you are. I really don’t see the point of all this. Are the bragging rights to a PS3 really worth thousands of dollars? Are the collective “Wow”s of your fellow fanboys really worth that much? And the worst part is many of these consoles have bugs in them, and there aren’t many games out for it, most of which will be released next year. Despite this rampant retardation, there are still sensible people out there. The folks at SmashMyPS3.com has decided to fight this stupidity, and smash a brand new PS3 with a sledgehammer in front of all the fanboys. To see the look on their faces, click here. Well, on to the Wii.

The PlayStation 3 will be released on Friday on this side of the world, and will herald the beginning of another round in the console wars. In Japan, the console has already been released, from Saturday in fact. You’d think the $600 dollar price tag would deter them, but surprisingly not. A great many have been sold. Wanna guess? Ok, ready, go. 88,400. Nowhere near your estimation huh? I know its Japan, the land that tech built, but this is ridiculous! And guess what? Only 100,000 were released. Nearly 90% sold in two days. Impressive Sony. Most impressive. The two top selling gamers were Ridge Racer 7 and Mobile Suit Gundam: Target in Sight. Hmph. If a Gundam game wasn’t up there. Only in Japan.

It’s crazy over there. They are being sold for four times the retail price. Homeless people are being paid to line up for them. Used PS3s are being sold above the price of the new ones. And, needless to say, they’re popping up all over auction sites like EBay. I think Sony is pulling the oldest trick in economics, and decreasing supply to increase demand. I don’t believe their “difficulty with the Blu-ray DVD player” excuse for one minute. Or maybe they are telling the truth, but the way things are now, aren’t be in rush to fix things.

I thought with the amount of displeasure gamers expressed over the price, you’d think they would camp out in front of Sony’s offices in protest. Instead they are camping out of stores, allowing the man to trample over them just to waste their lives in the land the cel-shaded and the pre-rendered a little sooner. You see? This is why Sony is doing this to you! I hope the people at the American release will show some resistance. Oh who am I kidding? There are 30 million Playstation fans in the US, and there’ll be only 400,000 systems released. They’ll be too exhausted to put up much of a fight. Ok Sony, you win. I wonder how much a human soul fetches these days?

E3, or as the old folks call it, the Electronic Entertainment Expo, has been the highlight of the gaming world for many a year. It had the power to make or break a console or game, so much so that publishers planned their schedules around it. It had enough appeal to make thousands of habitually reclusive gamers leave the confines of their suburban homes for a grand celebration featuring games, consoles, rumors, shwag and those luscious booth babes. It was an event that any gamer worth their twitch muscles looked forward to, including myself. That’s why I was shocked when I heard that they killed E3.

I never attended the event, but wanted to oh so much. In fact, it was on my list of things to do before I die (yes, I have one of those). Great, another one of my dreams has died. The E3 execs said, “To better address the needs of today’s global computer and video game industry, the 2007 Electronic Entertainment Expo is evolving into a more intimate event focused on targeted, personalized meetings and activities,” a.k.a. E3 costs too much, so we’re scaling down and cutting costs. Cheap bastards. The event will no longer be held at the L.A. Convention Center. In fact they have no date or venue set for next year. The event will be at a number of hotels for a more “intimate” event.

So is this a bad thing? Depends on who you ask. Just about everyone except the average gamer is in support of the move. Developers have more time to produce games for the event, as the deadline has been extended. The media has more time to focus on coverage of the event, as they won’t have to contend with the sound of overexcited fanboys, and game companies won’t have to spend millions on those elaborate booths. The E3 execs believe that it will be the same without all the excess, but I disagree. E3 was all about the excess. That’s what drew people to it in the first place. Just don’t be surprised if it doesn’t draw the huge crowds it once did.

Looks like Rockstar Games is in hot water again, concerning, what else, the ultra violent GTA series. The latest installment in the franchise, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, is in for more than the usual gameplay that allows gamers to get in touch with their inner Tony Montana. Turns out there’s a “Hot Coffee” mod in the game, a sex mini game in which you mash buttons to pleasure your digital conquest, the closest those pasty, socially inept fanboys will ever get to pleasing a woman.

It’s no surprise that anti-violent video game lobbyists have jumped down Rockstar’s throat on this. Jack Thompson, the video game devil, has already predicted the demise of Rockstar, saying they won’t be around in three years. Hilary Clinton, apparently still desperate to champion a cause that will land her in the White House, is asking the U.S government to join the war on video games, and has presented a law that would charge US$5000 for selling mature games to minors. Australia’s Office of Film and Literature Classification is also investigating the mod.

Personally, I don’t see what all the fuss is about. Firstly, it takes a great deal of effort to hack into the game, far too much for the average snot-nosed brat. Secondly, the characters are partially clothed and no genitalia is exposed. And thirdly, parents should educate themselves on the ESRB’s rating system. Don’t just buy the game because your kid wants it and then express shock and disbelief when your baby boy mows over pedestrians with his stolen Caddy to the tune of maniacal laughter. What do you think the M on the box means? Mild? Rockstar, apparently in an effort to bring some respectability to its name, has released Rockstar Table Tennis. It’s a good game, but it won’t do much to change Rockstar’s image.