My thoughts…on stuff

all feeling the effects of it. In America, Wal-Mart has been limiting the amount of rice customers can buy. In Jamaica, the government has been suggesting that Jamaicans start eating cassava (we never took to that too well) and growing our own rice. That part of the crisis I actually like, as it forces us to become more self-reliant. It’s just a pity that it’s circumstances like this that force us to depend on ourselves.

There are also food riots in Mexico and West Benegal. Rice has gotten so popular that people are even starting to buy rice futures. But it’s not only rice that’s short. Pasta, beef, chicken, milk, bread and other basic foods are either in short supply or much more expensive. The UN says it’s a result of cereal crops being used for biofuels in reaction to rising oil prices, increased demand from India and China and extreme weather conditions. I’m inclined to blame the Chinese and the Indians, but it’s mostly America’s fault. And no, the blame doesn’t fall upon Bush’s shoulders’ this time. Dear God, why do you Americans love blaming him so much. It’s not all his fault you know. It’s the fault of capitalism.

American companies has been heavily outsourcing to both India and China recently, and this great influx of investment has led to the development of more business, meaning more jobs as well as higher incomes. Now these people have more purchasing power, and trust me, they’re exercising it. It wouldn’t be so bad if it were some other places, but these are some of the most heavily populated countries on Earth. China has 1.3 billion people, India has 1.1 billion. Americans have also used 20% of the maize crop to use for biofuels, affecting the world market for cereals.

It’s not affecting my family too much. Not we’re not rich, we just know how to stretch our dollar. But I’m afraid that we can stretch it so far and no more. Still, we’ve been through tougher times and prevailed. All I can do is sit and hope that greed overtakes opportunists all over the world so that we’ll have a surplus of rice and other staple products, and if worst comes to worst, maybe expand my cassava diet beyond bammy (traditional deep-fried Jamaican cassava bread).

If you’re a Jamaican, then you already know what’s the hottest thing on the airwaves. That’s right. Cash Plus, and the case of the amazing disappearing funds. If you’re a Jamaican that invested money in said entity, well, sucks to be you. The once beloved investment club that was famous for giving poor people a chance to “step up inna life” has been revealed to be nothing more than an elaborate scam. Normally I’d point and laugh at the fools who weren’t wise enough to look before they leapt, but people’s lives were destroyed by Cash Plus. For those who are late to the party, check this post.

I mean people sold their house, cars, virtually all their significant material possessions and put it in Cash Plus, in search of the American dream. And no, that’s not a typo. My Mom has a friend with $3 million in there. There have been news articles about a man with $30 million and a woman with $300,000 US invested in it respectively. There are also rumours about MPs and other bigwigs who suffered as well. Don’t expect any of them to admit it of course. And it’s not only the investors that suffered. Former employees of Cash Plus are finding difficulty in finding a job ’cause of the company’s shady reputation. My Dad was going to invest. He was even going to sign up the form. But a look at this article about Carlos Hill’s past convinced him otherwise. Hooray for teh Internetz!

People are now eager to get their money and put it back into traditional banks, the same banks that were once demonized as “fight ‘gainst, trying to prevent poor people from getting “real” interest. Songs have already been made about the debacle (feeding off its popularity I’m sure). Investigations have been conducted as to the whereabouts of the money, and it has been discovered that Mr. Hill invested the money in over 200 companies all over the world! And get this, one of the accounts has US$3 billion dollars in it! Now Mr. Hill is locked in prison with his brother Bertram. The police are actually being merciful, as releasing them into the hands of angry investors whose lives have been plunged into greater hardship would be downright cruel.

I read an article in last week’s Star that gave me quite a laugh. Turns out that some human rights organization and a church over in Canada that both support the rights of homosexuals gave the Jamaican Government a May 12 deadline on which to institute laws that protect their rights. If not, they promise to make an announcement on May 17, the International Day Against Homophobia, calling for a boycott of Canadian goods, services and tourism.

After the laughfest, I looked forward to the Government to dismiss this as quickly as I did. They have not. Since then, my laughter has turned into concern. I’m offended that these people have the audacity to try to impose their will on our sovereign nation, but I’m even more offended that they want to tamper with our country’s laws, one I might add that some say, keeps our society intact. And this is coming from Canada. Not even America. Canada, whose most dangerous export is Celine Dion. What’re they gonna do? Make us listen to the Titanic soundtrack ’til we give in?

You know how that’s gonna make us look like on the world stage? The land of shottas and garrisons backed down to the land of maple syrup and hockey! Anyway, they also want a repeal of the buggery laws and public service announcements denouncing homophobic/transphobic violence (isn’t that a bit much? I don’t even see that in the US), as well as a national homophobia/transphobia education campaign. I can just see it now. “It’s great to be gay! There’s no protest to buttsecks!”

I agree that homosexuals need to be treated as human beings, but the laws of our land must be obeyed. Whether we choose to legitimize homosexuality or not is strictly our business. Our Government had better not give in to their demands. It doesn’t take a roomful of politicians to realise that if they did, if would be the most unpopular decision in Jamaica’s history. Plus it would set a dangerous precedent, as what would prevent other foreign powers from doing the same by imposing their will on us? What’s next? The Rastafarians teaming up with the Swedes to legalize marijuana?

The news has been at the front of all the local media. Jamaican Kevin Brown (which is oddly the name of one of my former high school buds) is held at the Orlando airport with bomb making materials. It was also on the front pages of the American media as well, but that’s no longer the case. I guess this was when people found out that he was headed TO Jamaica, not from it. I’ve been to the forums of a certain site whose name sounds akin to an infamous curse word, and I’ve been assualted with weed jokes. Little suburbanite punks “surprised” that he didn’t carry bong making ingredients instead. I swear if any of them says “mon” one more time I’m gonna…anyway.

I don’t really care about the guy, but I don care about how Jamaica is perceived on the world stage. The whole Malvo thing was bad enough. In his defense, he claims that he was only carrying the items to show his friends how he made bombs in Iraq. Apparently the guy’s whacked out, suffering trauma from Iraq and the loss of his mother. Am I the only one who detects a cruel irony in the fact that a war started to prevent people from blowing us to high heaven (or so they say) is causing people to do the very same thing? Still, I’m more willing to give Kevin the benefit of the doubt than the sensationalist-driven media. Why? Because many people have been suspected for terrorism for a lot less. Case in point. An MIT student caused a bomb scare because…wait for it…she wore an device with LED lights attached to her shirt. Hooray for paranoia!

It was one of the most terrifying things that have happened to me since I heard that Heidi Klum got married. Victoria’s Secret is de-sexifying their lingerie line. I instantly said “NOOOOO!” I’m not kidding. I shouted that out loud. And while it wasn’t enough to impress Lord Vader, a couple people gave some puzzled expressions that said, “what’s that retard yelling about?”

I have been a longtime fan of Victoria’s Secret fashion shows and their models, but as I got older and my libido got stronger, I stopped watching these shows. Why? ‘Cause I’d be watching what I could never get. It’d be like staring into the face of God. It would overwhelm me. I already have difficulty containing myself around average college girls in jeans and tight blouses. Imagine some of the world’s most gorgeous women, prancing around in their undies. Dear Lord.

Chief Executive Sharen Turney says that the company is straying from its roots, and she wants to bring it back to its roots, the ultra feminine. The brand also wants to become more sophisticated, and I don’t think frat boys jerking off to images of its models isn’t exactly highbrow. Oh, and fourth quarter profits fell 12% and first quarter earnings will be below expectations. But its not like that had anything to do it.

Still, little Miss CEO should remember that its not just college girls who want to show off their assets or middle-aged women who want to retain their husbands’ interest in them so that their eyes won’t wander to said college girls. It’s also men. Men who buy the Very Sexy bra for their ladies, then fantasize that they’re making love to one of the Victoria’s Secret models. Men who buy the lingerie for their women…after making the hot store clerk model in it a few times, claiming “she’s just your size.” Is this a clever strategy, or if it will backfire? Time will tell.    

Hello everyone. Back from my vacation. And not white sand beach, Bermuda shorts, Pina Colada vacation. Just a long break. My exams ended last week Tuesday, and since then I just took a break from everything except breathing, eating and sleeping. Now I’m feeling refreshed. But I return on not such a happy note. A former classmate of mine, Dee-Andrea Morris, a.k.a. “Punkie” , died over the weekend. She was killed at her front gate in Papine while talking to some friends. I post this in tribute of her, so that she may never be forgotten. I heard the news Saturday night, but I ignored it. The words “Papine,” “UTech” and “student” caught my attention, but I tuned the rest of the story out. It couldn’t possibly be someone I know right? Only when talking to another former classmate of mine did I find out the horrible truth.

I found it hard to sleep that night. Images of her face flashed across my mind, and I would imagine the horrible incident that led to her death. I would imagine arriving in the nick of time to save her, and taking out the guy responsible. All psychological balm to soothe the pain I was feeling. Now don’t get me wrong. She wasn’t a close friend. We didn’t hang out in the same social circle. Heck, I barely knew her last name, so up to now I haven’t even shed a tear. In fact, I’m surprised as to how well I’m taking it. But her passing has caused me to reconsider my own life. She was 21, exactly my age. What if it was me? What would people say of Leon Robinson? What kind of legacy would I leave behind? I think about it and the answer does not please me. The so-called “crises” in my life seem trivial now.

After writing about how the crime monster has claimed our nation’s finest, it now hits close to home. Truly, no one is immune. I remember the last time I spoke to her. It was during exams. The usual “hi, bye” acquaintances would share. Little did I know that would be the last time I saw her. Moral: Don’t take anyone for granted. I’m a bundle of emotions right now. I’m angry because this criminal will probably get away with it because of Jamaica’s shoddy and corrupt law enforcement and that someone who was trying to walk the straight and narrow path was taken out by some trigger happy punk. I’m sad (for obvious reasons) and because her death was so meaningless. Yet, I’m strangely happy for having the privilege of knowing her. R.I.P. Punkie. We’ll miss you.

This year has been an especially trying one for the police force, especially the past few weeks, as 20 police officers have been killed since the start of the year, the most recent one, 55-year old Sergeant Errol Brown, killed last night. Understandably, Jamaicans are very concerned about this. As am I, because if gunmen don’t fear the police, even dragging one out of his vehicle while negotiating a pothole, removing his helmet and shooting him in the head, then what’s to stop them from taking my own life, or anyone else’s for that matter? The religious among us chalk it up to the Last Days, but I think that’s too easy an explanation.

I’m surprised by the level of hypocrisy of the Jamaican people. We hide the gunmen. We even eat and drink and with them, and refuse top volunteer any information (does the Neighbourhood Watch exist anymore?), and glorify violence, but we bawl openly in front of the camera when we lose one of our own. I consider myself a patriot, but I’m starting to consider migration now, because unless I erect a fortress like the wealthy do, I’m fair game, and I don’t intend to have my bright future cut short by some trigger happy hooligan. This almost reminds me of Order 66 in Star Wars, where the Jedi Order was decimated by the forces of the Sith.

Not saying that Jamaican police are as noble as the Jedi. In fact, they’re some of the most corrupt civil servants you can find. But at the end of the day, they are our only defense against the criminal element. And they seem hellbent on eliminating that defense. This is yet another reason why hanging should be resumed. To hell with Amnesty International! How dare they impose their Western ideals on us! They aren’t going through what we’re going through. I don’t think any of them has spent even a week in Jamaica. Our criminals aren’t interested in stealing old ladies purses or robbing liquor stores. They’re out to disrupt the very fabric of our society, and we cannot let that happen. One thing’s for sure, something drastic has to be done. We can’t simply get a couple more guns and vehicles and hire a British guy like we did in the past. Your move Bruce.

They say dogs are a man’s best friend. Well, except one. Michael Vick. The dogfighting scandal he’s been embroiled in has sent his career…well, to the dogs. I wasn’t gonna post on this until I saw an article about Mike’s trading cards being chewed up by dogs and sold on EBay. (If that isn’t poetic justice, I don’t know what is.) That’s when it became postworthy.

Turns out these cards are selling like bombs in an Islamic country. Each card is worth $455, making them the most expensive Michael Vick cards - ever. I feel sorry for the guy. This scandal has ruined him, both professionally and personally. Dogfighting is savage, I agree. Plus the dogs that lost or were unfit to fight met a cruel end, via electrocution, drowning, strangulation, etc. But people have blown it out of proportion. They make it seem as if he killed somebody. Well, it would’ve been better if he did that. At least he could’ve become a rapper. I suppose it’s because Americans have such an unnatural love for their pets.

Vick’s being targeted by humane societies because he’s got money, fame and status. (It could also be a race issue.) If it was any average Joe, it wouldn’t even make the evening news. Still, being a celebrity, he should’ve known better, ’cause when people love you, they love you. And when they hate you, boy do they hate you. Well Mike, whatcha gonna do now? Well, with that muscular physique, you could flip more burgers than all the staff at the local BK.

Despite all we’ve done, for some strange reason, God still loves us. that’s the only explanation for why Hurricane Dean suddenly veered to the south, sparing Jamaica its full fury. Hmm. Dean changing course? Could Mother Nature be telling us something? But let me not politicize our blessing. Besides some scattered leaves, loosened zinc and a broken tree limb, my family and I are ok. We were lucky, as we live near some hills, so it acted as sort of a shield from the wind. The loss of electricity reminded us of how much we depend on technology and all the other creature comforts of modern life. But all of Jamaica wasn’t as lucky as us. The print and electronic media were filled with images of sheer destruction, to both public and private property. Three people died. It was clear that Dean clearly outranked Ivan, though some people in my opinion, deserved it, as they had not heeded the warnings. Some of them were humourous, as the one with a concrete house being held up with rope. Others were awe-inspiring, as the Suzuki Swift washed up on the wall, and most were depressing, such as wooden houses reduced to piles of splintered wood and twisted zinc. The recovery effort is in full swing, but sadly, people are trying to politicize it. JLP doesn’t want to give water to PNP and vice versa. Are we Jamaicans so immature that we can’t put aside politics long enough to help our fellow man? Right now Dean is dying a slow death in Mexico, downgraded to a tropical storm. Right now, I’m just hoping the JPS doesn’t hit us with a “Hurricane Dean Recovery Charge.”

It’s currently 2:58 am. The rest of my family is asleep. I would like to as well, but with Hurricane Dean approaching, I’m just a bit too restless to sleep right now. Plus if I am to die, I would like to see death awake. Kidding! Dean is supposed to arrive later in the morning, and many Jamaicans are in fear, as it is supposed to be stronger than Hurricane Gilbert, and Gilbert has been the gold standard for hurricanes ever since. And since I was a “Gilbert baby,” I must confess that I’m a bit curious, as I’ve never seen the devastating effects of a hurricane. But given the damage Dean dealt to countries like Dominica and St. Lucia, my curiosity need not be satisfied. As for preparations, my family is moderately prepared. We’ve done everything except battening down and getting batteries. We spent far more time at the supermarket today, as there was an immense crowd there, the norm whenever there’s an impending hurricane. (This must be like Christmas for them). It was so packed that trolleys ran about, and people had to carry their goods in boxes, and essentials like rice, sugar and flour ran out in no time. Strangely, the Prime Minister and the Leader of the Opposition banded together to counter the threat. Unexpected, but welcome. But there’s one set of people that actually welcome calamities like this - looters; those who display the worst of what it means to be Jamaican. In their case, I wouldn’t mind a little police brutality. Well, that’s it. Pray for me and my fellow Jamaicans, and I hope the next time I post, it will be on a positive note.