My thoughts…on stuff

Boobs. They surround us. They bind us. They hold a near mystical power over us (men). Many women try to enhance this specialized sweat glands through breast augmentation. We’ve had many famous examples of women with big boobs, most notably Pam Anderson. But the woman with THE world’s largest breast implants is model and actress Sheyla Hershey. With a size 34 FFF, she holds the Guinness World Record for largest breasts, sporting 2,000CCs or 2 quarts of silicone in her chest. Here’s the original story.

I love breasts as much as the next guy but daaam! It’s like she has a badonkadonk on her chest. And by her pic, her badonkadonk (booty for you white girls) is pretty much the same size. Score! If you think this is bizarre, you need to see those poor girls with macromasty. I’d show you pictures of them, but those breasts tend to evoke pity more than captivation. I don’t know why a girl like this would need breast implants, ’cause she’s overflowing with that Latin hotness. How many of you guys would hit that like the fist of an angry god? SURVEY SAYS? All of you! I scratched through Spanish in high school, but if I had her as inspiration, I’d pass with flying colours.

Apparently she had a self-esteem problem, and so she inflated her chest. Cause everyone knows that’s the answer to solving self-esteem issues, instead of, I dunno, facing your insecurities head on! She should’ve tried therapy, or blogging. Much cheaper. And here’s an interesting thing. She says she was inspired by…none other than Dolly Parton. (Looks like Dolly’s boobs have an impact on women as well.) Still I won’t judge her much. I’m not taking the moral high ground here. It’s just ’cause she’s hot. I hope she got a spinal brace along with those things, ’cause the back pin must be terrible. I wonder what would happen if a guy tried to bury his head in her bosom? He’s probably suffocate, or find the lost land of Oz. Whatever.

all feeling the effects of it. In America, Wal-Mart has been limiting the amount of rice customers can buy. In Jamaica, the government has been suggesting that Jamaicans start eating cassava (we never took to that too well) and growing our own rice. That part of the crisis I actually like, as it forces us to become more self-reliant. It’s just a pity that it’s circumstances like this that force us to depend on ourselves.

There are also food riots in Mexico and West Benegal. Rice has gotten so popular that people are even starting to buy rice futures. But it’s not only rice that’s short. Pasta, beef, chicken, milk, bread and other basic foods are either in short supply or much more expensive. The UN says it’s a result of cereal crops being used for biofuels in reaction to rising oil prices, increased demand from India and China and extreme weather conditions. I’m inclined to blame the Chinese and the Indians, but it’s mostly America’s fault. And no, the blame doesn’t fall upon Bush’s shoulders’ this time. Dear God, why do you Americans love blaming him so much. It’s not all his fault you know. It’s the fault of capitalism.

American companies has been heavily outsourcing to both India and China recently, and this great influx of investment has led to the development of more business, meaning more jobs as well as higher incomes. Now these people have more purchasing power, and trust me, they’re exercising it. It wouldn’t be so bad if it were some other places, but these are some of the most heavily populated countries on Earth. China has 1.3 billion people, India has 1.1 billion. Americans have also used 20% of the maize crop to use for biofuels, affecting the world market for cereals.

It’s not affecting my family too much. Not we’re not rich, we just know how to stretch our dollar. But I’m afraid that we can stretch it so far and no more. Still, we’ve been through tougher times and prevailed. All I can do is sit and hope that greed overtakes opportunists all over the world so that we’ll have a surplus of rice and other staple products, and if worst comes to worst, maybe expand my cassava diet beyond bammy (traditional deep-fried Jamaican cassava bread).

My evil twin Leon over at ListenToLeon.net decided to tag me, so I saw it fit to take on the challenge.

The rules are as follows:

* Link the person who tagged you.
* Mention the rules in your blog.
* Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
* Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
* Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

Just like the other Leon, it’s going to be hard to think of 6 new quirks, but I’ll try.

1. I have this occasional problem where my mind and my mouth or hand don’t sync, resulting in me having to slow down and think out what I’m going to write or say, else I jumble two words together, resulting in a lot of apologies and crossouts.

2. When I’m studying in private, I tend to talk to myself. I don’t mean rereading the material to myself. I mean actually have a conversation with myself. It begins.

3. I heart birds. I admire their majesty. They also inspire me, as I can relate to their need for freedom, as I don’t like to be shackled by rules.

4. I am deeply paranoid. As a personal policy, I trust no one. And no, no one has seriously betrayed me. But in these materialistic times, it seems like a wise policy. Sure I may never be able to truly bond with someone, but what ever.

5. I enjoy enhancing my intellect. I read widely and try new things. Though I’m a college student, I view self-acquired knowledge is often more important than a degree, and a lot more fun too. But it’s much easier to prove your education with a degree, so…

6. I am a sloppy dresser, and because of this my mom and I have arguments sometimes. Don’t get me wrong. My mode of dress is acceptable, but I’ve never gone out of my way to make myself look Denzelian, unless forced. I guess it’s because I hate vain people.

Ok. MadBull, Ricardo, Angelika, Marsha, JDid and Stunner, I choose you! (flings Pokeball)

You don’t know how I feel right now. I’m hearing that there’s gonna be a MacGyver movie. At Maker Faire, Lee David Zlotoff, creator of MacGyver announced the movie is in the planning stages. I loved watching MacGyver as a kid. He was a hero that used brain over brawn to get out of tight spots, which appealed to me and many other geeks out there. The man could construct ANYTHING out of seemingly unrelated items. You could leave the man locked up in a room with no possible way out surrounded by bombs, and all he’d need to escape and diffuse the bombs would be a pocket knife, a paperclip, and a piece of string.

There’s a pic of the hero with his trademark mullet, a missile made from one of Lindsay Lohan’s sex toys, a bottle nipple and some gunpowder, topped off with that “don’t f**k with me” expression on his face. If you still cannot comprehend the awesomeness of this god of gadgetry, here’s a list of problems he’s solved on the TV show. If these people have the sense to follow through with this, it could would be…epic! MacGyver appeals to just about everyone, so they’d make an obscene amount of money. I wonder how they’re gonna approach it. Will they cast good ol’ Richard Dean Anderson, or will they reboot it Nolan style and cast a younger MacGyver? Whatever they do, there’s one thing that must remain constant: the mullet. For now, I’ll keep my eye out on this one.

Before I start this post, I’d just like to say, HALLELUJAH! Exams are over! I was gonna post yesterday, but I was so mentally exhausted that I just couldn’t bother. I really taxed my intellect this semester, and I was surprised as to what I was capable of. And I will achieve more in final year. Anyways, back to the post.

I haven’t kept up on gaming much, as schoolwork has absolutely consumed my time, but I have heard of all the hype surrounding GTA IV. I know that GTA is and has always been a game of controversy, but my God man, this time it’s been taken to ridiculous levels. Countless parents have been bawling again that GTA turns their precious snowflakes into delinquents. The gaming Anti-Christ Jack Thompson has been woken from his slumber once again to stop GTA’s sales to minors. New Zealand and Australia want the game tamed, again. You’d think a country that used to be a prison colony wouldn’t mind a bit of violence in their games.

But this time the hype has reached insane levels, which makes me ask myself, do people really know that this is a video game? It got to a point where Obama himself had to address it. He didn’t quite bash it, saying that these games were for adults and that they were raisng American kids (I knew there was a reason I liked him). In a beautiful case of art imitating life, a gamer got stabbed while waiting in line for the game. With such overwhelming publicity, there’s no wonder that it had the highest grossing opening day in entertainment history (Note: Entertainment, not gaming only), as it brought in US$186 million in its first 24 hours with 2.5 million copies sold in the US. Wow. That’s a lot of white punks that wanna play gangsta. I suppose they deserve it, as it had cost Rockstar US$100 million, making it the most costly videogame of all time.

Still, I can’t see why it’s so much more popular. It’s a great game. I mean which red-blooded young male doesn’t like rampant violence and lawlessness? But it’s the same ol’ story. Sure the game’s got new characters, new stories, online multiplayer (Dear God. Imagine the white kids dropping f-bombs and talking gangsta), a redesigned Liberty City, more realistic physics among other things, but its essence remains the same. I guess in the recession, people need to let off some steam.

This day 15 years ago, the Internet was born. To be more precise, this was the day it was put into the public domain, ensuring that a single system would be used for accessing the Web. Seems far away for me. Then again I’m only 22, but for the adults, it probably seems like yesterday. (You feel old now, don’t you?) A world without the Internet seems unimaginable nowadays. I can barely survive a week without it.

Thanks to the efforts of Tim Berners-Lee (and no, Al Gore did not invent the Internet you ass) and CERN, we are now able to our waste time on social networking sites, view as much porn as our perverted little hearts desire, watch videos of people making complete asses of themselves, and receive countless chain mails and notifications from Nigerian princes (who knew they had so many?) and barristers who want our help to transfer their assets. Are we sure this thing has made the world a better place?

Anyway, it has made millions for a fortunate few, ruined the lives of many, and given some, such as myself, a global voice. We raise our glasses to you Internet. Can’t live with you, can’t check out the latest sex tape without you. Many ask why Berners-Lee didn’t claim intellectual property rights to the Internet. They claim it would’ve made him a billionaire, even wealthier than Bill Gates. Well retards, if he did that, it wouldn’t have grown at the astronomical rate it did, and the present Internet would probably be as large as it was 9 years ago, and it certainly wouldn’t have such diverse users or information. Can you imagine having to pay extra for access to the Internet?

But Mr. Lee has been awarded many accolades, or should I say Sir Lee, as he has been knighted as well. But there are people trying something similar to taxing the Net, by trying split the Internet into tiers and charging people for access to them. That’s why the call for net neutrality has gotten louder over the years. Berners-Lee is in support of if, as well as Google and surprisingly the tyrannical Micro$oft. And there’s more to come, as access to the Internet becomes cheaper and new technologies are integrated, it will continue to evolve. Oh, and here’s a little fun fact. The world’s first website was http://info.cern.ch/. A surprisingly simple website, and it’s still up and running!

Today, I read an article about another teen celebrity being embarrassed by a photo being taken of her. This time it’s Miley Cyrus, who’s currently the hottest thing since sliced bread, uttering the classic line, “I never intended for any of this to happen and I apologize to my fans who I care so deeply about.” As expected, Disney’s pissed. There’s the photo, taken by Anne Leibovitz, a renowned celebrity photographer, which Vanity Fair managed to twist in order to sell magazines. A surprisingly SFW photo actually. Remember guys, she’s 15. Don’t make me have to tell you to take a seat over there.

But I’ve realized a trend, and I know you’ve seen it too. These young celebrities nowadays tend to “suddenly” be subject of some embarrassing photos. The latest in recent memory was Vanessa Hudgens with her racy pics, then Zac Efron with his “ghey?” pics, and now Miley Cyrus, all Disney stars strangely. Another pattern. I can’t help but think that this is a way for them to tease the public (giving them a taste of their sexuality so that they’ll have an appetite for it when they hit 18) then say “oops!” This would ensure that they don’t meet the same fate as Danny Bonaduce and countless other child stars.

Remember what happened to Vanessa Williams and those nude photos? Of course you do. She became a smashing success, and is one of the few Miss Americas people actually remember after their term expired. You couldn’t buy the kind of publicity that scandal brought her. And oddly enough, this happens after Miley declared that she’d like to step out of Hanna Montana’s bubblegum pop and be respected as a true entertainer. I for one want to see some Ashley Tisdale embarrassing photos. She’s a babe. She is 18 right? Else, well, I will have that seat over there.

P.S. Got tests on two of my toughest subjects tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Remember the nightmare that was “The Simple Life?” Ok, sorry for dredging up that painful memory. Well Paris is back to make you question once more why you even bother watching TV anymore. Her new show “Paris Hilton’s My New BFF”, is a new reality show (dear God) where Paris seeks to find a, you guessed it, a new Best Friend Forever (obviously to fill the gap left by Nicole Ritchie). Not that BFF guys, and if you want proof, Paris says that she wants someone who’s “not going to screw me over”, so for those fellows seeking Internet fame needn’t apply. But even worse than news of this show is the fact that 85,000 people applied. 85,000 poor souls eager to snatch a fallen crumb from Paris’ table of undeserved fame, just to prove to themselves that they matter in this world.

This is one of those events that makes you wonder if there is a just and loving God. This is going to be aired on a network renowned for wholesome, well-scripted programs, MTV. You’d think she would’ve passed the BFF stage by now, being 27 and all. You know I’ve been bashing Paris for quite a while now. A few of my fellow bloggers, most notably Mad Bull, have even accused me of having a crush on her. As for that, I’ll devote a post to it soon. But even I’m starting to feel guilty of bashing her. Ok, she deserves a fair assessment. Let’s list her positives. She’s…pretty and…rich. Can’t think of anything else. Ok. Now for her negatives. Oh where do I start? Ok, the feeling’s back. I wonder what the winner will be doing, apart from typical spoiled heiress stuff like 24/7 shopping and talking down to common folk? Shooting the sex tape? Help her invent another stupid catch phrase? Take the rap for her when she commits DUI? Personally, I’d like it if she picked up a psycho as her BFF.

Hate Vista? Love Windows XP? Well enjoy it while you can, because good ol’ Micro$oft is doing what it does best, using strongarm tactics to bully customers, this time by killing XP. The software giant has announced that it XP will be going off the market on June 30 this year. Software updates will stop on April 14, 2009 and support ends on April 14, 2014. And despite the efforts of thousands of petition signing fans, this date is set in stone. To be fair to Microsoft, that was the original date set in the Windows Life-Cycle Policy, but I think that they’re publicizing it to spook people into buying Vista, an operating system that has been called a “work in progress” by Micro$oft CEO Steve Ballmer.

I proudly use XP myself. I’m all for software upgrades, as I can’t stand using anything but the latest and greatest technology. But I’m not gonna spend my hard earned cash on an incomplete OS, only to have the completed version released two years later. I think as a consumer, I deserve more than that. The only people I know that are comfortable with Vista are those with average computing needs, the computer illiterate or those willing to spend tons on money on equipment upgrades. But I’ll stop myself before I got on an anti-Vista rant. In the meantime, I’ll save my pennies for Windows 7. XP fans, buy your copies while you still can.

Well folks, exams are underway. In fact my first exam is on Thursday. So I’m in study mode, so there’s not much room for my mind to wander. So chances are I’ll be posting less. Yeah, I know you’re be disappointed. Reading my blog is one of the few pleasures in your miserable life. But don’t worry. I’ll be back to regular posting in two flicks of a cat’s tail.