Jamaipanese posted about this a few days back, and I just had to take this on as a blog post! I mean I practically jumped on it! (pun intended) Computer generated girls are being worked on by those lonely, sex-deprived graduates of the Tokyo University. Their prototype “Alice,” introduced at the Wireless Japan Expo 2008 is able to respond to interaction and coded cubes. You can give her gifts as well. Oh yeah, and you can UNDRESS her. And she’s dressed in a pretty little French maid’s uniform. Yup. No sexual connotation there. Wow. I’ve known of invention for the sake of necessity, but never invention for the sake of desperation. I guess their right hands couldn’t satisfy them anymore.
This is all amazing technology, but we all know the first application this will be used for. Oh yeah. Satisfying the fantasies of fanboys and assorted geeks everywhere. Saw how many people lined up for an iPhone? Imagine how many would line up for an iPhondle? There would be a mob rush for those things. Every guy would want a Wonder Woman, a Chung Li, Dark Magician Girl, and yes, a few would like all the Love Hina girls. Good luck buddy. I remember a recent sci-fi movie (Minority Report I think) where a guy was getting it on with some CG chick in a sort of virtual eroticism store. That’s what the future would be like if these things reach their full potential.
But me, I’m not really into that sort of stuff. Fantasizing about fictional characters? Please. But if I had to, my pick would be little (or not so little) Miss Mai Shiranui of King of Fighters fame. She and Tsunade were tied, but she beat her on the age factor. What? Stop thinking like that. It’s not like I pre-planned this list or anything. And why stick to fictional characters? Why not create computer generated celebrities? But I’m betting that the typical celebrity wouldn’t like their image dragged through the mud by such creations. They’d prefer to do it themselves with their sex tapes. Japan’s best and brightest, hurry! Pleading for the fanboys of course, as a lot of them are waiting on this. Pervs.
I haven’t done one of those online quizzes in a while. Mainly because most of them suck. But I found this cool one the other day, which will tell me how I will spend my wealth. I’m a big fan of money-related quizzes, because I intend to become wealthy. Here are the results.
We all know and love Wikipedia. It has helped make my college life a whole lot easier, I can tell you that. But now it has a rival - Google’s Knol. It was launched this week, and it may just be good enough to thwart Wikipedia’s secret attempt to gather all information on Earth and destroy it, temporarily anyway. Google calls a “knol” a unit of knowledge. Yeah, nice try guys, but “knol” isn’t as catchy as Google.
Knol pages are “meant to be the first thing someone who searches for this topic for the first time will want to read”, according to Udi Manber, a Vice President of Engineering at Google. Sounds like what Google was originally meant to be until the Internet got clogged by meaningless crap. Unlike Wikipedia entries that are written by several anonymous authors, Knol pages are written by a single author and may be edited by contributors, but only if the author allows.
Personally I don’t think I’ll use Knol. Though Wikipedia’s information is a lot less reliable than Knol’s due to its collaborative nature, Knol will be more academic in nature, while Wikipedia is more general. Google could also boost Knol pages in search results, causing Wikipedia and other competition to suffer. And knols may include ads, if the author allows of course. Ads that the author will profit from, motivating authors to write more knols. This, along with the recognition, will lead to more pages, but may lead to less substance. In my opinion, Knol is just a monetized version of Scholarpedia. But with Google’s power over the Internet, no one will question it.
If you own a motor vehicle, then you’re probably feeling the strain that rising oil prices are putting on your pocket. Oil reserves around the world are running out, and last time I checked, the world’s supply of oil will run out in the next 50 years. But fear not. A U.S. Geological Survey has revealed that there may be 90 billion barrels of oil in the Arctic, more than Nigeria, Kazakhstan and Mexico combined.
Wait? Kazakhstan has oil? I thought their major exports were potassium, apples, and young boys to Michael Jackson’s ranch. They’ve got it totally wrong Borat. Ironic isn’t it? The same substance that caused global warming and will ultimately lead to the destruction of the Polar Ice Caps is located right under them. Rest asured consumers. When this treasure trove of oil is uncovered, you can be sure that the savings will be passed on to you. Ahahaha! Yeah, that cracked me up too.
In other news, President Bush, according to his “intelligence,” has found weapons of mass destruction in Alaska and other parts of the Arctic, and speculates that Osama Bin Laden is hiding there, and has decided to go to war with Canada. “We all know this was coming” the President said. “We should’ve gone to war with those bastards for Celine Dion alone.”
When questioned about why anyone would have a base there, he looked at me with a condescending stare and said, “Boy didn’t you watch the Superman movies?” When questioned about the fact that bombings in the Arctic may accelerate the melting of the Polar Ice Caps, leading to the destruction of the Earth’s ecosystem and ultimately mankind itself, he responded, “don’t try to confuse me with all that science mumbo jumbo. Besides, no price is too great - not even $123.26 a barrel, for the safety of the American people.”
When I was a lad, my natural curiosity (and budding sexuality) led me to learn of the Kama Sutra. I even saw the actual thing in high school. In my eyes, it was the ultimate sexual experience. Then I watched American Pie, and learned of tantric sex, and that became the new gold standard for me…until a day or two ago. Turns out there’s this new thing called “transcendent sex” and it is just the craziest thing I’ve ever heard of. Even crazier than some of the toys out there. (The things women put inside of their bodies).
Apparently this goes beyond orgasm and has a spiritual element, allowing you to reach a higher state of consciousness. People who have attained such a state have reported to have experienced reliving past lives, working with natural forces, seeing visions (probably from that cheap Viagra you bought online), pure bliss, oneness with the universe, paranormal powers, feeling possessed by spirits (possessed by lust is more like it), feeling energy waves through their body, time travel (WTF?), a lack of sensory channels, being visited by gods, enlightenment, and literally “seeing the face of God.” So when your lover says “I saw God,” pay attention, ’cause it may not be a metaphor. And to think there are men who are struggling with simply getting it up. The strangest thing of all is you don’t need to be a master of the Tantric arts or any other form of sex, a spiritual person, trying to reach orgasm, or even be in a loving relationship (even though it normally happens in such cases). It just…happens.
Gentlemen, news of this can’t get out. If it does, women are going to expect even more from us, and let’s face it, it’s hard enough to please a woman as it is. Heck, it’s a chore just getting them as far as the bedroom much less. And Google perverts, no there is no instruction manual as to how to reach this state. You’ll just have to go back to the sack and cross your fingers that you’ll get as far as the occasional orgasm.
Even Captain Obvious is facepalming after hearing this. Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are facing marital difficulties, 3 months into their marriage, after their lengthy 5 week courtship. Wow. We NEVER saw this coming did we? You know, I would’ve expected better from the woman who sang “Love Takes Time.” Nick, who is 11 years younger, is tired of Mariah’s diva attitude, and complains that his wife “treats him like an assistant and not a husband.” Well that’s what happens when you marry a diva, my friend. Also that fact that she’s older than you and her starpower outshines by far doesn’t help you at all. He also confessed that he doesn’t like her very much.”
Let’s recap shall we. A few months ago he said, “she is beautiful on the outside and 10 times as beautiful on the inside.” They also declared that they were soulmates, Mariah got a Mrs. Nick Cannon tattoo, Nick said that marrying Mariah was “the best thing that has ever happened to him” and they already made plans to renew their vows. Hmm. Looks like that won’t happen. You know I would’ve told them to go to a marriage counsellor before undergoing such a big step in their lives. But no. Such things are for the little people.
It never fails to surprise me, the attitude of these celebrities when it comes to marriage. They get drunk on love and do some stupid things, especially squander their money on “monuments to their love,” and when the euphoria wears off and reality sets in, they say the love has gone, and their egos won’t allow them to compromise. This thing’s gonna go down like the Hindenburg in a couple months if so long. Well at the very least, Nick got with Mariah Carey, and that’s got to give his sex appeal a huge boost. Lucky him. I always wondered how Mariah would sound during orgasm, especially with that high pitched voice of hers. As for Mariah, well I hope this whole experience helped her get her groove back.
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is coming out November 11th, and the IMAX trailer is out online, and I decided to share it with you. But before you hit play, I must warn you, this may be the single most mind-blowing trailer you’ve ever seen. Voldemort grows more powerful, hormones rage, the atmosphere at Hogwarts grows uneasier, and tragedy looms. Now, prepare for a trailer that’ll knock your socks off!
Wasn’t that the most awesome trailer you’ve ever seen? Man, Warner Bros. pulled out the big bucks for that one! There’s no way that they’ve gotten complacent with the franchise!
Hello everyone. Before I start, I’m sure you’ve realised the “Listen Now” button at the top of each of my posts. That’s all thanks to Odiogo. I seriously encourage you to subscribe to my podcast, so you can take my posts with you on your iPod while you’re jogging or engaged in some other form of battle with cellulite, or listen to them while wasting valuable company time. (C’mon. You know you do it.)
Anyways, as you can figure out by the widget in the sidebar, I’m an Entrecarder. Aside from approving ads, I haven’t been very active as of late, so I’m trying to get back in the game. While dropping, I’ve read many blogs talking about Entrecard’s and SezWho’s partnership. Here are my two cents on the issue.
Basically with this new alliance, when bloggers leave you comments, they’ll get Entrecard credits. Simple no? Not so much. The comments that are supposed to be rewarded are high quality comments. There are two flaws with this plan. The definition of a quality comment and who rates your comments. Spam is easy enough to pick out, but you could spend hours commenting ’til your fingertips go numb, but whether your comments are justly rewarded or not is out of your hands. And most of those who comment won’t really be your fans. They’ll just be people looking for a credit. The comments will just be as empty as most of the traffic I get from most blog exchanges.
It also doesn’t reassure me that SezWho has made many partnerships several other companies, especially PayPerPost, whose posts Google knock down with a PageRank of 0, and I’ve worked for nearly three years to get a PR of 4. And forgive me for being cynical, but I’ve been part of most of the major blog exchanges, and they all promised the world, and they did deliver…for a while. I haven’t seen a single one of them that offered me solid, quality traffic. Even with Entrecard, my bounce rate is nearly 75%. But I’m not totally knocking it. I’m just skeptical is all. I’ll just wait and see. But in the meantime, I’ll get comments the old fashioned way. By writing quality posts.
I was loading up MSN on IE during some downtime at work (Sorry. Firefox wasn’t available) when I saw the article about the future ruler of the free world and the future First Lady being portrayed as terrorists. Quite frankly I was mad as hell. Though the New Yorker is famous for satire, and I know as I have read a couple copies while in my school library back in the day, I just didn’t get the joke. The Obama campaign has called the cover “tasteless and offensive.” Even John McKain said it was distasteful. When your political rival comes out and says “this sucks man,” you should know how bad it is. Though I think he’s smiling inside. And supporting Obama does help his image. Part of me still wonders if McKain paid someone off to print this. This is politics after all.
Yet another obstacle put in Mr. Obama’s incredible campaign. This doesn’t help his image at all. Terrorism is no longer a chief concern of most Americans, and Osama Bin Laden presents little more of a threat than the Boogeyman these days. But apparently there are some Americans who still can’t shake off that paranoia, and fear supporting Obama, thinking he’s an undercover terrorist because his name has “Hussein” in it. His name! My God! Are these backwoods retards so steeped in their prejudices that they’ll let a name stop the rise of a potentially great leader? And while I can understand the satire here, (I mean which higher level mammal couldn’t? Michelle Obama with an AK-47, Barack in Muslim garb, the American flag burning in the fireplace and Bin Laden’s portrait in the Oval Office? It’s just too much to be taken seriously) it only reinforces the ridiculous stereotypes that people have. And ironically, the title of the issue is “The Politics of Fear.” As for me, I’m a bigger fan of this cover than the original.
I can’t believe people are that people are really considering this. A Patois Bible is in the works, a project that will take seven more years to complete and cost JS$60 million. At present they’ve only translated 40 percent. For the uninitiated, I’m taking about Jamaican patois, a fusion of English, African, Amerindian and Spanish. This money could be better spent somewhere else, like building a school where they can teach proper English and help Jamaicans become more literate so they can read the Bible in the first place!
I guess they’re trying to capitalize on the newfound popularity of Jamaican culture. They’re trying to justify it by saying that the Bible makes more of an impact when it is translated in their own native tongue. Well I never heard anybody complaining that they couldn’t read the Bible. And if they can’t, they just can’t read. Period. Translating it to Patois won’t help. There are three kinds of people this would appeal to:
1. The Sunday crowd, who are normally so steeped in tradition that few use the New International Version much less a Patois version. In fact, they’d probably call it a mockery of God’s word. In fact, they already are.
2. Ordinary Jamaicans. I know this thing should cost more than a regular Bible because of its unique nature, and Jamaicans aren’t stupid enough to pay extra to read their own language.
3. Foreigners. They normally buy these patois dictionaries and junk like that, but only as mementos. None of them take them seriously. Plus these people aren’t exactly the godliest set. Did you know that 59% of Germans and 65% of Britons are atheists?
Whichever way you slice it, this thing just won’t sell. It’d become a collector’s item at best. This reminds me of when the Jamaican government spent millions to build the world’s largest football only to find out that they couldn’t enter the Guinness Book of World Records as the exterior material wasn’t the same as that of an actual football. Now it’s gathering dust in a warehouse somewhere. Just another big waste of money.
Jamaipanese posted about this a few days back, and I just had to take this on as a blog post! I mean I practically jumped on it! (pun intended) Computer generated girls are being worked on by those lonely, sex-deprived graduates of the Tokyo University. Their prototype “Alice,” introduced at the Wireless Japan Expo 2008 is able to respond to interaction and coded cubes. You can give her gifts as well. Oh yeah, and you can UNDRESS her. And she’s dressed in a pretty little French maid’s uniform. Yup. No sexual connotation there. Wow. I’ve known of invention for the sake of necessity, but never invention for the sake of desperation. I guess their right hands couldn’t satisfy them anymore. 
