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I was checking my site stats sometime last week, and after following a Google hit, I somehow encountered a site where I could get my own British aristocratic title. So I, having always thought highly of myself, decided to give it a shot. Who wouldn’t want a fancy royal title? It’s the ultimate ego boost. Here’s my result.

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Emperor Leon the Confused of Lower Bumhampton
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Here’s my analysis of my title. The emperor part was pretty cool. No lame Duke, Sir or Lord. I’m the boss. Just straight up power, UNLIMITED POWER!!! The confused part? Well, I guess that applies, as I tend to be a bit absent-minded. But that part that really irks me is the “Lower Bumhampton” part. (Couldn’t they make me Emperor of Upper Bumhampton at least?)

You’d expect me to make an ass crack wouldn’t you, but I…oh too late. Might as well. Being emperor doesn’t seem so great when you’re ruler of a place like that. The people must be asses. Well as Milton wrote, better to be a ruler in Hell than a servant in Heaven. And besides, I don’t mind being the butt of a cruel jokes every now and again. Heh.

P.S. Just a random thought. Is there such a thing as a bisexual hermaphrodite?