My thoughts on…Valentine’s Day
It’s February 14th. People are showing each other false affection. The world is awash in a sickening shade of red. There’s no mistaking it. It’s Valentine’s Day. All my longtime readers know that I truly, unequivocally, despise this holiday. But it’s a bit bearable this year, as the subprime crisis seems to have dampened consumer spending, so you don’t see as much annoying Valentine’s ads on cable. It seems to have affected us here as well. Little or no remittance means less spending. Thank you God!
And don’t write me off as some bitter single man who can’t get a Valentine. I actually have a girlfriend. She’s a bit angry at me ’cause I didn’t get her anything last year, and I was supposed to make it up this year. But I couldn’t as I have some serious college expenses to take care of, so I can’t afford to waste it on any overpriced stuffed animals right now. Just my luck. She’s into Valentine’s Day, so I had to spend a couple minutes explaining my situation to her. She was only appeased when I said I’d make it up to her some other day. Terrific.
Yesterday some of my buds were talking about the origin of Valentine’s Day, and that since St. Valentine was gay, and since Jamaicans don’t support homosexuality, they wouldn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. A female classmate agreed. Boy. If only every woman were like that. The world (and men’s wallets) would be a better place. Apart from VD, there are other viruses you guys should watch out for. The Dref-AB worm has been spreading fast, posing as a Valentine’s Day greeting. So please, don’t open these fake e-cards, trying to convince your co-workers that your life isn’t as pathetic as it seems. Your life is only pathetic if you send yourself a Valentine’s Day gift, which I was surprised that people are actually doing. And here’s a treat for those out there who really are bitter and single. Photoshopped Valentine’s Day cards, courtesy of Fark. They’ll actually make you glad you don’t have a Valentine.
