My thoughts on…”Choreplay”
Hey guys. As you know, tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day, a day where men give their significant others processed cocoa bean products and rose vaginas just to show they care. But why not do something special for her this year? Why not break away from the mold and really turn her on? Why not…do the chores? You heard me. Wash the plates, rake the yard, clean the toilet, real sexy stuff. And wipe that stunned look off your face. 15% of moms say that’s their idea of foreplay, according to Parents Magazine. Single men, we may breathe a sign of relief and collectively point and laugh at all married men. It may sound silly, but apparently doing chores for women shows a deeper appreciation for them and their efforts, and they view this as romantic.
But don’t run for the broom just yet, as women also dislike the idea of men using housework to get in their jeans. So damned if you do and damned if you don’t. This could be an insidious plot by women to bait men into doing chores for some nookie, ’cause let’s face it, even if she genuinely intended to give you some lovin’, after cleaning the whole house from top to bottom, you won’t be of much use in bed anyway. But there isn’t much need to worry. That survey still leaves 85% who are turned on by good ol’ fashioned foreplay. But if any of you men decide to give “choreplay” a shot, just remember. Do it once in a while, mostly on special occasions. Do it regularly and you might as well hand over your testicles, because it’s your job now. Don’t complain if she starts bitchslapping you for backtalk. As for me, the only time housework and foreplay should collide is when my woman’s dressed like a French maid. Besides, I rather just stuff a box o’ chocolates and some champagne in her arms and call it a day.
