My thoughts…on stuff

You’ve just got that tattoo. You’re feeling cool. You’ve spent hours deciding which design you want and which area of your body will give it max visibility. You rush to show your friends, or if you’re the subtle kind, wear your most revealing set of clothes so they’ll pick it up. Now this happens. Apparently another asstard has pushed the envelope and gotten a tattoo…ON HIS EYE! Your tat doesn’t seem so cool now does it? Pauly Unstoppable (that’s really his name. Check the article) was the brave soul that underwent this procedure. Still, there’s a thin line between bravery and foolhardiness. And surprisingly, he’s a Canadian. I’d expect this crap from an American.

The design isn’t that impressive. The guy just coloured his eye blue, so in terms of appearance, the average tat pwns it. It took FORTY insertions to get it right. Ouch. I’m pretty sure they used anaesthesia though. And the funny thing is, the procedure isn’t 100% safe despite being “extensively researched”. He could go blind. Bet he’ll try to sue if he does. But despite the risks, I know there are retards that will perform the same procedure. Think this is surprising? There’s also eye jewellery. Aww geez. I’m normally anti-tattoo, but if this procedure catches on, I dunno, I may be crazy enough to try it. What design you may ask? MANGEKYOU SHARINGAN!

The battle for the Whitehouse is heating up, but most would say that its not much of a battle anymore. Obama is clearly the crowd favourite. In fact, he is jokingly called “President Obama”. It seems like nothing can stop the Obama juggernaut…until now. A picture of Barack Obama wearing a turban has surfaced on the Internet, and it has caused quite a stir in both camps. It is alleged that Mrs Clinton’s aides circulated the picture. Mr. Obama’s campaign manager, David Plouffe, described it as “the most shameful, offensive fear-mongering we’ve seen from either party in this election”.

Personally I don’t see what all the fuss is about. It’s not like he’s got explosives strapped to him, high fiving Osama and burning the American flag. The truth is, Mr. Obama is merely wearing the same clothes as the nomads in Somalia, and there is no religious significance behind it whatsoever. I personally think the Clinton camp is behind this, to feed both the rumours that he’s a Muslim and the xenophobia Americans have towards them, and its a sad and shameful tactic. You’d think Americans would’ve recovered from 9/11 by now. They’d better change that part in their anthem about the “home of the brave” to the “home of the paranoid”. In response to this, the Obama camp has released this picture. Quite appropriate don’t you think?

The Oscars went on Sunday night, and quite frankly I didn’t give a damn. I heard vague whispers about it through the media, and honestly that’s how I knew about it. It’s not like I mark my calendar for it or anything. I no longer see the appeal. And apparently I’m not the only one. Nielsen Media Research says that ratings for the 80th Annual Academy Awards were lower than Joan Rivers’ sex appeal. Ok, maybe not quite that low, but lower than the least watched ceremony. By 14% in fact, which was all the way back in 2003.

I just don’t see why I should watch it anymore. Most of the Oscar nominees belong to movies I haven’t even seen or, quite frankly, care about. Only two of the whole lot I was rooting for, No Country For Old Men and Juno. I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about who’s dress looked spectacular or who was fashion roadkill. I could blindfold myself, spin around until I was dizzy and I could still point out a bombshell. If not, well, at least she’d have money. And the length of the ceremony would try the patience of the most hardcore cinephile. As for the hosts, well, Jon Stewart is ok. Just that. Ok. It may be because I have a lot less free time now, but I have to ask the question, “Are the Oscars relevant anymore?” It seems like yet another self-congratulatory celebration. The rich, famous and the beautiful getting together to pat each other on the back while we watch. What’s the point of it all?

I suppose it’s because Hollywood isn’t what it used to be. The cinematic bar has been greatly lowered over the years. A “Meet The Spartans” would never have come out in the 1930s. Back then a movie was a movie. Plus Old Hollywood was a lot more glamourous, with stars that were larger than life. New Hollywood is not as mystifying. In fact it doesn’t take much to become a star. Just spend enough time in front of a camera and you’ll automatically become one, regardless of talent. As such, half of the movies that come out make moviegoers regret their purchase. Showbiz has obviously lost some of its luster, and people just aren’t as fascinated with Hollywood as they once were, as evidenced by declining movie attendance and…as I just said, Oscar viewership. Still, I guess it has its place. Actors deserve thanks for a hard day’s work just like the rest of us. Just don’t expect a bumper viewership.   

You know Zac Efron, the heartthrob from High School Musical. You young adolescent girls have been pissed at Vanessa Hudgens for taking him from you, when you obviously had a chance with him, despite your lack of fame, money and status *snicker*. Well now he may even be further out of your reach, as he may now be into in dudes.

Someone looking a lot like Zac has been seen in a photo kissing a guy. Doesn’t seem too intimate, but it may have been a precursor to something more (I shudder to think). How will Vanessa feel? But we really don’t even know if they’re a couple. You know how celebs love to couple up to create a buzz around them.

Then again are we really that surprised? The man’s claim to fame was a friggin’ musical! I wonder if this was a setup though? I wonder if Zac was jealous of the popularity Vanessa gained from her little nude photo scandal and decided to whip up his own scandal. And let’s face it, the only thing that beats nudity is gheyness. Again, it’s not certain. But you know what, make up your own mind.

P.S. I was checking out my stats tonight, and saw that I got a hit for an unusual search term - “Leon Robinson nude.” Looks like I’ve become a bit of a heartthrob myself huh?

As you all know, I’ve been using Entrecard for some time now, and I have been satisfied with the results. I’ve found some good blogs, gained some new readers, seen a boost in comments, feed subscriptions and of course, traffic. By the way, I’ve unraveled the mystery behind the name. The word “entre” comes from entrepreneur. Makes sense with the whole e-business card schtick. With all these benefits, it’s little wonder that Entrecard has grown as it has.

On December 17th, they gained their first 1,000 bloggers. It’s now February 21st, and they now have 4,400. Pretty impressive. Having their widget on popular blogs like Problogger and John Chow helped them no doubt. But while Entrecard’s growth may be encouraging news for its owners, it’s bad news for its users. Why? Well, more users means more competition, making it harder and harder to stay on top. So what’s a blogger to do? Sadly, many of them have been gaming the system, only dropping on blogs that promise reciprocal drops, forming their own little cliques that only drop on each other, using browsers that allow them to chain drop faster, top dropper memes, entrecard contests (which nearly every Entrecarder has) etc.

My point is, too much attention is focused on gaining and not on gaining readership. Entrecard was built to encourage networking between bloggers, but it seems the same old blog exchange syndrome has emerged. And what happens to the bloggers that don’t game the system? Their blogs get undervalued and fall out of the spotlight, while those who game the system rise to the top. Now it’s hard to tell which blogs are truly worth their advertising cost and which are inflated.

You have to resort to their tactics whether you want to or not just to survive. I even had to resort to some chain dropping to keep my head above water. But I tend to frequent the blogs with good content and avoid the inflated ones. I loved the initial community spirit of Entrecard. It felt like my cozy little hideout on the Net where I could recapture the simple joys of blogging, with bloggers who actually cared about your content. Now it seems like that spirit is being eroded, and Entrecard runs the risk of collapsing under its own weight. But I know one thing, I’ll be long gone by then.

P.S. Does anyone know if there was a glitch in FeedBurner’s system, as I went from having 52 subscribers to 39 in one day flat! I know that readers can be fickle but jeez!

The news caught me by surprise this morning. I just couldn’t believe it. After all these years, Fidel Castro finally resigned. I knew it had to eventually happen, but I almost saw the guy as invincible. I mean he was in power for 49 years. Would’ve been cool if he made it a round 50. Ah well. Soon after he announced his resignation, Bush said that he regards his resignation as “a period of transition, and it should be the beginning of the democratic transition in Cuba”. Bush, your “bringing democracy to the world” gimmick is getting old. Cuba isn’t gonna sell out like Puerto Rico, so just forget it. And if Raul is anything like Fidel, which I know he is, that will never happen.

A classmate of mine said that Jamaica needs a Fidel, to weed out the corrupt politicians, and I agree. Fidel wasn’t without his flaws, but he cared about his people, and that’s a lot more than I can say for most politicians. He even left his position of prestige to become a revolutionary - to alleviate the plight of his people. How many people sitting in parliament or congress would do that? I’ve never had a reason to hate him. He ran Cuba well, despite the American embargo. Jamaica on the other hand, is practically America’s footstool. Let’s see. Cuba has 98% literacy, virtually all of its citizens attend university and it’s healthcare system is comparable to First World countries.

Us? Well, our healthcare system…needs work and while our literacy rate is 88%, 26% (female) attend tertiary instititions, about half that for males. Yeah. We’re benefiting from that alliance alright. In fact, Cuba’s aiding us, allowing our students to study over there, giving us free light bulbs…erm, let’s not talk about that shall we? I’m proud of Fidel. After countless assassination plots, they never got you, even outlasting nine U.S. presidents. You had the balls to defy a nation virtually every other country fears. You weren’t forced out of power, neither by death or foe. You ended your governance on your own terms. Way to go.

Just about every attempt to make Christianity appeal to today’s youth has pretty much failed. Christian punk/metal bands, Battle Pope, Jesus Christ action figures, and don’t get me started on “Buddy Christ.” But there may just be one form of Biblical interpretation that may score with the youth: Manga Jesus. Yup, Jesus has moved into the world of manga in the Manga Bible, created by Ajin-bayo Akinsiku, known as Siku. (Way to give atheists more ammunition buddy.) And this Christ is a lot more action-packed than the one you grew up in Sunday School with. He’s described as “a stranger, a silhouetted superhero ready to save the world. He’s dark, he’s moody and he deals in miracles. He is Christ.”

And while that Christ you grew up with was into forgiveness and turnin’ the other cheek, this one is described as “the ‘badass’ that kicks everyone’s butt.” Pretty cool, as, let’s face it, in the Bible, Jesus was sort of portrayed as a wimp.  Would be kinda cool to see the Son of Man put the smackdown on some heathens. But I don’t think I could take this thing seriously, or could anyone else. Still, I’d read it. It’d be way more interesting than my plain old Bible. It seems to be a success among the young, becoming the best selling manga novel in Britain, selling 30,000 copies.

Hmm, I wonder what it’d be like? We’ll, the disciples are bound to be teens with multicolured, spiky hair, all Biblical battles will be fought with giant robots, Moses would part the Red Sea with an energy blast from his palm, Jesus’ cross would really contain pistols, a machine gun, and rocket launchers to fight the Roman soldiers, and somebody, somehow, would get tentacle raped. Have fun dude, but stay true to the essence of the Scripture, and for the love of God, no Mary Magdelene hentai!

I’m not particularly in the mood for a post today, but rather for a fun little diversion. (After all, blogging becomes a chore if you don’t have fun with it.) So I took a fun little quiz and I decided to share it with you. It asks you, if you were in a blizzard, how likely you are to cannibalize your buddies. It’s sick, morbid and utterly disturbing. Totally what I’m into (minus the cannibalism part). Needless to say, I took it, and here are my results:

43%

Higher than I expected, but hey, desperate times. After all I am a fan of Tom Harris’ work, so I shouldn’t be surprised. Why do I have a feeling that I’ll be invited to less and less group trips?

It’s February 14th. People are showing each other false affection. The world is awash in a sickening shade of red. There’s no mistaking it. It’s Valentine’s Day. All my longtime readers know that I truly, unequivocally, despise this holiday. But it’s a bit bearable this year, as the subprime crisis seems to have dampened consumer spending, so you don’t see as much annoying Valentine’s ads on cable. It seems to have affected us here as well. Little or no remittance means less spending. Thank you God!

And don’t write me off as some bitter single man who can’t get a Valentine. I actually have a girlfriend. She’s a bit angry at me ’cause I didn’t get her anything last year, and I was supposed to make it up this year. But I couldn’t as I have some serious college expenses to take care of, so I can’t afford to waste it on any overpriced stuffed animals right now. Just my luck. She’s into Valentine’s Day, so I had to spend a couple minutes explaining my situation to her. She was only appeased when I said I’d make it up to her some other day. Terrific.

Yesterday some of my buds were talking about the origin of Valentine’s Day, and that since St. Valentine was gay, and since Jamaicans don’t support homosexuality, they wouldn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. A female classmate agreed. Boy. If only every woman were like that. The world (and men’s wallets) would be a better place. Apart from VD, there are other viruses you guys should watch out for. The Dref-AB worm has been spreading fast, posing as a Valentine’s Day greeting. So please, don’t open these fake e-cards, trying to convince your co-workers that your life isn’t as pathetic as it seems. Your life is only pathetic if you send yourself a Valentine’s Day gift, which I was surprised that people are actually doing. And here’s a treat for those out there who really are bitter and single. Photoshopped Valentine’s Day cards, courtesy of Fark. They’ll actually make you glad you don’t have a Valentine.

Hey guys. As you know, tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day, a day where men give their significant others processed cocoa bean products and rose vaginas just to show they care. But why not do something special for her this year? Why not break away from the mold and really turn her on? Why not…do the chores? You heard me. Wash the plates, rake the yard, clean the toilet, real sexy stuff. And wipe that stunned look off your face. 15% of moms say that’s their idea of foreplay, according to Parents Magazine. Single men, we may breathe a sign of relief and collectively point and laugh at all married men. It may sound silly, but apparently doing chores for women shows a deeper appreciation for them and their efforts, and they view this as romantic.

But don’t run for the broom just yet, as women also dislike the idea of men using housework to get in their jeans. So damned if you do and damned if you don’t. This could be an insidious plot by women to bait men into doing chores for some nookie, ’cause let’s face it, even if she genuinely intended to give you some lovin’, after cleaning the whole house from top to bottom, you won’t be of much use in bed anyway. But there isn’t much need to worry. That survey still leaves 85% who are turned on by good ol’ fashioned foreplay. But if any of you men decide to give “choreplay” a shot, just remember. Do it once in a while, mostly on special occasions. Do it regularly and you might as well hand over your testicles, because it’s your job now. Don’t complain if she starts bitchslapping you for backtalk. As for me, the only time housework and foreplay should collide is when my woman’s dressed like a French maid. Besides, I rather just stuff a box o’ chocolates and some champagne in her arms and call it a day.