Info: January 17, 2008 Posted by: Leon 11 comments

britneythennow.jpgIf you’re a sentient being with any awareness of the outside world, then you’ve been overwhelmed by news of everyone’s favourite train wreck of a celebrity, Britney Spears. Tired of it? Well it ain’t gonna end any time soon my friend, ’cause stories on the former pop princess are ratings gold. Check out the stats.

Can someone put that poor creature out of her misery, or at least cage her? That woman should not be let loose on the street! She has obviously lost her marbles. I’m not entirely sure, but I think it started when she married Kevin Federline. Then it went all downhill from there. I was gonna try to list all the crazy crap she has done since then, but that’s too daunting a task. I’d have to sift through and verify dozens upon dozens of news articles, and quite frankly I’ll only do that kind of intensive research for an assignment or money. But here are the standout ones (in no particular order):

  • Marrying K-Fed
  • Driving with Sean Preston on her lap
  • Divorcing K-Fed
  • Forming the Legion of SuperShehoes with Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton
  • Going pantyless
  • Gojng to rehab
  • Shaving her head
  • Her custody battle with K-Fed
  • Her performance at the VMAs
  • Attacking Dr. Phil
  • Her sex tape (Don’t worry. It was fake. If you haven’t stabbed your eyes out yet, read on)
  • Hooking up with a British paparazzi
  • Marrying said paparazzi in a Scientology ceremony and becoming Muslim?

But seriously, Britney’s going down a dangerous path. Someone needs to help her before she self-destructs. She could end up being the Michael Jackson of this generation, an artiste known more for their antics than their music. It’s gotten so bad that K-Fed has now become the most responsible parent of the two. (Yeah. I’m shocked too). Her family is being incredibly standoffish in the matter. Why can’t they stand up like strong parents and knock some sense into her? Or are they afraid to upset their meal ticket? Still, they have a lot on their plate, as little Jamie Lynn has a bun in the oven. Guess she needed some Sex Ed “101.” Heh. And besides, you can’t help someone that doesn’t want help, and Britney clearly doesn’t. In fact, she said that she’ll commit suicide if she’s forced into psychiatric care. I really hope she wakes up before she ends up killing herself. But for now, all we can do is sit back and enjoy the show.

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