Categories: Celebrity Internet

If you frequent YouTube on a daily basis, chances are you know of Chris Crocker. “Chris who?” you may ask. He’s the “star” of that ridiculous “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!” video. When I first saw it, I couldn’t stop laughing, especially when he said “anyone how has a problem with her, you deal with me.” Yeah, ’cause you’re so intimidating. Whatchya gonna do? Throw glitter at me? I pretty much ignored it after that. But when I learned of how popular it became (viewed nearly 8 million times), I realized that it was more than just another YouTube funnie. But what really got me steamed was the fact that he was offered his own TV show!

Yes. Chris Crocker, the little queer Southern drama queen gets a TV show because his stupid two-minute rant racked up tons of views (a lot of which aren’t genuine because he uses page refreshers), while there are people out there with terrific ideas being shunted. What were they thinking? A gay kid surviving in the Bible belt. It’s a regular fish out of water story. This new show will be simply faaabulouuus! I can already smell the ratings. Who says TV is running out of ideas? But that’s not all. This video made me officially hate the guy. In it, Crocker says he can’t think about 9/11 because of what Britney’s going through. WTF? Years ago, hundreds of people died in a vicious attack on your home soil and you’re worried about some whackjob celebrity?

Plus I didn’t mention how disturbingly gay he is. Not to be homophobic or anything, but he’s girlier than most girls. And I don’t care how open-minded you say you are, a guy wearing eyeliner is just weird. Thank God for Seth Green’s parody and others like it, which emphasized just how stupid this whole thing is. I know Chris’ TV show is gonna tank, because people watched the video because they wanted a quick laugh. Nothing more. Internet celebrities are a flash in the pan, most of which never attain true celebrity. Has “The Star Wars Kid” gotten a movie deal? Does “Leeroy Jenkins” have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. No. So Chris Crocker, enjoy your celebrity while you can, and I for one can’t wait for the day when you simply disappear. I don’t like you, and the sooner I can forget about you, the better.