My thoughts…on stuff

Picture this. You’re an adolescent with poor impulse control, no sense of self and absolutely no discernible talents or gifts. No beauty, intelligence, athleticism, charisma, wit, etc, nor do you have the diligence to develop one. What do you do? You create a spectacle of yourself, that’s what! And there was no better way to do that in the late 90s than tattoos and piercings. But piercings have long lost their shock value since then, and the same shall soon apply to tattoos, as every daddy’s little girl has a tramp stamp hovering over her buttcrack and wannabe badboy has a tribal tat on his arm.

So now a new fashion trend has emerged to replace the passe art of tattooing, one which is literally the “new hotness.” Branding! And yes, it’s just what the name suggests. Someone gets a metal brand or cauterizing pen, which burns at over 1000°C, and burns a design into your skin. Some say it gives them an adrenaline rush. Well, if you really want an adrenaline rush, why not play Russian Roulette? It’s loads of fun, and if you lose, at least you get to have a bored skull. It would be a helluva lot cooler than Johnny’s lame bullring, plus you’d be the only kid on the block with one! You’d be totally cool! Try it! I love hearing horror stories about tattoos. About how someone gets a tat of his/her lover, then said person leaves, turning that tribute into a scar. About people who get tats on an alcohol-induced whim, then come to regret it for the rest of their lives. About horribly botched tattoos, and about the magic that happens when saggy skin mixes with people’s cherished tattoos. So I’ll stay tuned for those involving branding.

But this is another example of white people imitating blacks. We came up with the branded look centuries ago! Still, the chains we were wearing were far less glamourous, and the people doing the branding were wealthy plantation owners and not their white trash descendants. But branding, as extreme as it seems, is tame compared to some of the other trends, such as “scarification,” when the surface layer of your skin is carved off to form a design. There’s also “skin braiding,” in which they cut strips of skin off your body, weave it then reattach it to your body. Yeah. I know. White people. But the thing that scares me the most is not the fact that people are actually PAYING to be tortured and scarred, but that this trend may actually reach Jamaica. As the saying goes, “When America sneeze, Jamaica ‘ketch’ cold.” I really hope it doesn’t. We already import enough from First World countries. We don’t need to import their stupid.

I hate the JUTC. I REALLY hate the JUTC. This is nothing but a hate filled rant about that damned company. Hear that JUTC? Now the world’s gonna know just how much YOU SUCK! This post is a monster, so have a snack nearby. Ever since the new school term began, I’ve been struggling to get to school on time. I take the 75, or as I like to call it, “the most inefficient bus route in the known universe.” I remember having to wait over an hour and 20 minutes just to get one. Seriously. I counted. I hate that route with a passion. They don’t seem to get that people have places to go. They actually stop at the terminus, leave the bus and hang out at the nearest bar for about half hour (even longer if it’s lunchtime), then round up the frustrated passengers.

And on top of this “professional” service, they herd you in the buses like cattle, in the most inconsiderate ways possible, and sometimes drive off with the doors OPEN! Even the coaster boys have more manners than them! When I finally arrive at school, I’m tired, sweaty, hungry, and late. I now have to get up about an hour earlier in the mornings, and being in 3rd year, where you really have to work for your marks, there isn’t much time for sleep, so I almost always doze off during classes. So between the tardiness and the sleeping, I miss a lot of important material, which I then have to catch up on, leading to more sleepless nights, which causes me to sleep in class or arrive late, which leads to me missing a lot of important material, which leads to…am I the only one detecting a vicious cycle here?

I now have to carry extra money to take two buses to school. But even then you still have to contend with the squeezing and the unprofessionalism. And I hate the idea of giving the JUTC even more money for their incompetence. I’d rather take a “robot” bus, for as much as they like to cram their buses with passengers, it’s way more comfortable than a crammed JUTC bus. Plus, chances are you’ll get a seat. No wonder the JUTC’s losing so much damn money to them! If there were a couple robots plying the Washington Boulevard to Papine route, I would never set foot in a 75 again. I think the JUTC is trying to cash in on its own incompetence, as there are now several “express” buses, plying the popular routes but tend to go to Half-Way-Tree only. Half way indeed. (I wonder if that’s how it got its name.) And they want you to pay $60 or $80 just to take you some of the way. As you can imagine, I’m not a big fan.

I was never too interested in driving, even when my dad offered to teach me. “Why bother with driving so early?” “I’ll take a bus for now cause it’s much more affordable.” But now, I think I’ll take my dad up on his offer. And the funny thing is, I used to like the JUTC. When they just came out, they were the model of efficiency. Nice, shiny new buses, courteous uniformed staff, strict rules such as “no eating and drinking on the bus,” schedules were actually kept and you could sit or stand without someone’s limbs poking you in your side. But, as with any government owned service, ineptitude quickly rears its ugly head. Now the previously described JUTC seems like nothing but a fantasy. But I guess I should look at the bright side. This will motivate me to work harder in school so I can land a well-paying job and get myself a decent set of wheels.

Ok. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. The Jamaican government undertakes a big project. Ministry of Industry and Commerce gets involved. Scandal ensu…Oh. You have. Ok then. Man, I thought under this new government we could go for at least a decent quarter without a scandal erupting, but I guess I was wrong. There’s now a big scandal involving some light bulbs Cuba sent to us for free as part of its “Jamaica-Cuban Energy Saving Project,” and surprise, surprise, the “Honourable” Phillip Paulwell, former Minister of Energy and Commerce and his partner in crime junior minister, Kern Spencer are at the center of it all. I tell you, there’s nothing “honourable” about many of these politicians walking around with that fancy title, one created by politicians, for politicians just to lend more prestige to themselves.

You think they would’ve sacked him after NetServ and Trafigura. But like the police, politicians shield each other. But back to the issue at hand. If you’re a typical blog reader, you probably have a short attention span, so here’s the lowdown. Cuba gives us free bulbs. Jamaica only needs to handle clearance, transportation and other minor expenses. Programme was supposed to save $169 million. PNP left a bill of $275.5 million. And the most despicable thing about this is that this was supposed to benefit the country. Couldn’t they just suspend their personal interests for one minute and, I don’t know, serve the people? I know this is a strange concept, especially when applied to local politicians, but I think it could work. I really hope that this scandal is just one big misunderstanding and that things are sorted out. But given the history of scandals in this country, that’s unlikely. If so, then I hope Paulwell finally gets the boot. Politicians have enough of a bad name already. No need for him to make it worse.

Yesterday morning, I took a stroll over Shonari’s blog. There he wrote about someone stealing content from his financial blog. So I, just out of curiosity, decided to check Copyscape to see if anyone was stealing my content. I check every now and again, but the only results I normally get are my own feeds. But not today. I found some loser had copied the bulk of my post on Marion Jones, and fused it with one from my name-esis, Leon, on the same topic. They say “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.” Well I was not flattered. And what pissed me off the most is that they didn’t even have the decency to link back to me, or at least acknowledge that I wrote it. I would’ve been cool with that. But no, this person gets both our well thought out and carefully constructed posts, scrunches them together with the finesse of The Hulk and has the audacity to pass them off as his/her own!

I immediately alerted Leon, hoping that we may launch a co-ordinated assault on him/her. An hour or so later, I fought out that he pulled a Dubya and launched a pre-emptive strike on his blog. I planned to join in, but studying for a Decision Science test (my most challenging subject) and the demands of Circle K quickly ate up what little time I had. So it decided to post about it today. But when I checked, lo and behold, the incriminating posts were missing! No surprise. We Leons are pretty intimidating. I mean why do you think Leonidas was such a badass? Still, I do feel robbed of my chance to put in my few punches by sending some hate traffic over there when the evidence was in full view. But if you stroll over to it’s cached page on Copyscape, you’ll probably still see them. So boys and girls, the lesson of this story is, DON’T F**K WITH MY BLOG!

The Harry Potter book series may be over, but it is still raising controversy. Newest of all J.K. Rowling’s confession that Professor Dumbledore is…GAY! This is the biggest Potter shocker since he died. Wait. Should I have put up a spoiler alert? But what the heck? If you haven’t picked up the latest Potter book by now, you ain’t nothin’ but a filthy Mudblood! Guess him having the hots for McGonagall was just wishful thinking. First Ian McKellen (Gandalf) is gay, now this? Are there any old, white wizards that aren’t gay? Makes me wonder about Merlin.

This will give the fundies even more reason to hate Harry Potter. In fact, they’ve gone beyond book burning, and are now burning old, white men with long beards. If you want to know why Fidel Castro went into hiding, now you know. He saw this coming. I guess the next logical question is, “who did he have the hots for?” Not who you think. Harry didn’t get a taste of his “Elder Wand,” despite the many hours he spent locked away in Dumbledore’s office. He was in love with Grindelwald, who didn’t return his affection. Still, after this revelation, I still respect Dumbledore. Sexuality aside, he was still a great wizard, mentor and role model. And at least he wasn’t overt with it. It’s not like he said, “This Tri-Wizard Tournament is simply faaabulous!”, or wore a rainbow robe. So Dumbledore won’t get much criticism from me. He was a good man, regardless.

P.S. My post on prehistoric passion was made a favourite by the International Institute of Anthropology! You can just imagine how thrilled I am!

Tired of the same old search? Sick of entering a search term only to be greeted with a bland, white screen? Well say hello to Ms. Dewey. She’s the best thing to happen to search since video search, and a helluva lot sexier than that Jeeves. MsDewey.com is an interactive Flash-based search engine. Enter a search term, and she makes a sassy comment on it. She’s surprisingly intelligent (a rare combination for such a knockout), and you’d be hard pressed to find a search term that stumps her. I’m gonna ask a question that I never thought I’d ask. Is it wrong to fall for a search engine? Think about it. Aside from being hot, she’s smart, full of personality, makes me feel like I’m the center of her world, and my fingers make her respond in surprising ways. How many flesh and blood girls are like that? Yeah, I know. I’m pathetic, but you have to admit, I do raise a valid point. Use her for about half hour and you’ll see what I mean. Oddly enough, when I searched for “Darth Vader,” she said, “Nothing gets me in the mood faster than that man’s voice.”

And here’s the funny thing, she was created by Microsoft! My God! Just when I thought there wasn’t an innovative bone left in those geeks over in Redmond! But strangely, they aren’t marketing it in the typical aggressively Micro$oft fashion. They’re hoping viral marketing will give their Live Search a boost (it currently controls a measly 9% of the market). I think Ms. Dewey is just what the doctor ordered. The only drawbacks are that the site loads slowly, and doesn’t give comprehensive results. Plus she gets a little needy if you don’t type for a while. Still, she does keep me company those long nights when I have assignments working on. Janina Gavankar of “The L Word” plays the Ms. Dewey character, just in case you were wondering (and I know you were). Yet another entry to your list of “girls I don’t have a snowball’s chance in Hell with.” Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to work on my James Earl Jones impression.

Star Trek: The Next Generation celebrated its 20th anniversary the other day. And now news of the final cast for Star Trek XI is trickling in. The great James Tiberius Kirk will be played by Chris Pine. Yeah, I don’t know who he is either. At least it’s not Ben Affleck. Sylar, (I mean Zachary Quinto) will play Mr. Spock. Good choice. If he can kill all those people while keeping a straight face, then being “logical” should be no problem. Zoe Saldana will be playing Uhura. Mmmm. Zoe in Uhura’s ultra-short mini-skirts. I predict there will be an unusual amount of non-Trekkies packed in those theatres.

Karl Urban will be playing everyone’s favourite technophobic, bigoted, space-faring doctor McCoy, John Cho will play Mr. Sulu, and Eric Bana will play the villainous Nero. And, as a bonus, the original Captain Kirk, William Shatner, is scheduled to make a cameo in the movie. I’m really looking forward to this movie, ’cause I’m a big fan of Star Trek. As of late, the franchise has fallen flat on its face, and I hope J.J. Abrams can give Trek the Batman Begins treatment and successfully reboot the franchise. It seems like it will work, as the fans have approved of the cast so far, and using a cast consisting of mostly unknowns will better enable Abrams to mold them into his vision of the Enterprise crew.

Well the day’s finally here. Blog Action Day has finally come. A day where bloggers worldwide come together to sound off about the environment. And I’m involved. So this will be a socially responsible post. But don’t worry, it won’t be as boring as you think.

As we all know, the world’s getting warmer, another symptom of man’s boundless greed. Greenhouse gas emissions and the depletion of the ozone layer has contributed to this, resulting in increased frequency of natural disasters, rising sea levels and numerous species threatened by extinction. But most of us know about that. But how many of us know what to do, and, a more important question, how many of us are willing to do something about it?

We are doing little things yes, like recycling, using ethanol and other alternative sources of power, hybrid vehicles and the like. But it’s not enough. I watched Al Gore’s “An Inconvenient Truth,” and it really opened up my eyes to how bad the global warming situation is. It was a bit dramatic, but what good movie isn’t? Natural disasters as recent as Katrina were caused by global warming. And the whole thing about cities being underwater. Yeah. That’s gonna happen sooner than you think. A lot sooner. And with all this happening, I still can’t believe that there are people out there that think global warming is a myth.

But why are we so slow to react? Because we’re too comfortable, too complacent in our dominion over this world. We only pay attention to the environment only when there is a natural disaster or some other “disruption” from Mother Nature, or when it is beyond repair. Plus there’s the big oil companies and all the other power brokers who would sooner see the earth destroyed than see a penny leave their pockets. I hope we pull up our socks and take this thing seriously. You may not have the power to pass a bill or stand on a podium and address the world, but you can be more environmentally conscious. You can make a difference. We can’t afford for the next generation to look back at us and say “what fools they were.” Let’s put a stop to this while there’s still time.

I’m sure by now you’ve heard of Marion Jones’ tearful admission of drug use. It was truly painful to watch. The woman simply broke down, baring her soul to the world, with absolutely no regard for self, asking for nothing more than for forgiveness. I must admit that I respect her for finding the strength to come forward and tell the truth. But that’s all the respect I have for her. I always suspected her of doing drugs. In fact, I tend to suspect most champion American athletes, because they tend to be the most frequent abusers. Seems like morality is thrown out the window once fame, wealth, glory and all the other perks of being a champion are within their grasp.

She has been accused a few times, but she’s always denied it, and managed to walk away clean every time. Now her sins have come back to haunt her. She been banned for two years and asked to relinquish the five gold medals she won in the 2000 Sydney Olympics. Several athletes are not satisfied with this ruling and are calling for her head, angry that Marion stole their glory. I agree with them. She should at least get a five-year ban. But, try as I might, I can’t find the heart to condemn her too harshly. I suppose it’s that same Marion Jones charisma working on me. The same charisma that spared her suspicion years ago and probably resulted in a lighter sentenced via her emotional confession.

But that’s not all. I’ve read an article that says that Marion is flat broke. Her net worth is about $2,000, a far cry from when she owned a $2.5 million dollar mansion. Sad to see Marion’s fall from grace, a woman once regarded as the queen of the track now just another doping statistic. I doubt Marion will return to her former glory. She’s done far too much damage to her once good name and track and field as a whole. So, kids, (even though it might seem cliche), don’t do drugs.

Before I begin, let me apologize for my near week long absence. A killer combination of work and blogger’s block crippled my regular blogging routine. But things are back to normal, and so is this blog.

The world is feeling Halo 3 fever right now. The game has made a whopping $300 million in its first week. Seems like there are plenty fanboys eager to see the ending of Master Chief’s epic adventure. I feel that I should give the Halo 3 release its own post, but it doesn’t interest me all that much. I recognize the awesomeness of the game, but I’m not that familiar with Halo. I played it once, and that was when I borrowed a game from a kid at a game shop. Plus I wasn’t very good. But I digress.

However, in the midst of all this Halo hullabaloo, a Halo spinoff has gotten the proverbial Plasma Sword. The highly anticipated Halo movie, that was set for release next year, is officially dead. To quote filmmaker Neill Blomkamp, “the film is entirely dead.” The falling apart of the movie in 2006 was a dead giveaway, but fans were still hoping that things would be ironed out. But it looks like 20th Century Fox and Universal’s bickering doomed the project. This is very disappointing. I’m not much of a Halo fan, but I would loved to have seen it on the big screen. All the fun of Halo, without the steep learning curve of driving a Warthog. But I guess that’s all a fanboy’s dream now. But who knows? Hollywood’s running out of ideas. Why else would they make Taxi? And Blonkamp says there may be hope for it yet, just not in the foreseeable future. Let’s hope they come to their senses and pick up the project before the Halo hype dies.