My thoughts on…a dogmatic dong detachment
September 5th 2007 -
Guys, I have a question for you. Do you love God? Unless you’re an atheist, the answer is more than likely “yes.” What would you do for him? Give up your material possessions to the poor? Spread his word throughout the Earth? Chop off your penis? That last one was a little difficult, wasn’t it? Well, believe it or not, a Spanish man did just that. He sliced off his stubby sargeant for salvation.
Rationale? His penis kept on causing him to sin. So instead of, I dunno, asking for forgiveness, he does exactly what any rational minded man would do, and lops off his dick, damn near dying of blood loss in the process. I knew the Spanish took their religion seriously, but damn! Someone should’ve told him that Mark 9:43-48 isn’t supposed to be taken literally.
I mean how could he do that? A man’s penis is like his best friend (despite what they say about dogs). It’s the first thing that greets you in the morning, looking up at you when you get up. It’s your own built-in gaming system. Not talking about using it as a joystick, if you get my drift, but when you use the restroom and they’re bits of crap in the toilet, don’t you try to blast as many of them as you can with your urine? You know you do. It’s the mark of your masculinity, the essence of all things male. And of course, there’s the obvious matter of pleasuring a woman. Another example of natural selection at work. Well, his loss. More hot, Spanish women for the rest of us to enjoy.
P.S. Yesterday made a year since Steve Irwin left us for that big bayou in the sky. Just so you know.
No related posts.
Ricardo Says:
September 5th, 2007 at 8:00 pm
Great. I’m sure that solved everything.
kami Says:
September 5th, 2007 at 8:36 pm
Well they say if your left hand offends you,then cut it off.lol
Shonari Says:
September 5th, 2007 at 10:52 pm
Very…graphic. i have a better idea…instead of cutting off his penis maybe he should have phuckked the vagina to death…let it die.
bobby Says:
September 5th, 2007 at 11:18 pm
Damn idiot i say …. phsssbt
Jamaipanese Says:
September 6th, 2007 at 12:24 am
he chopped off his what!!!!!
couldn’t he just show it to a nun ^_^
Cranky Putz Says:
September 6th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
that made me laugh…..interesting to know what you do with your man
marangand Says:
September 7th, 2007 at 2:46 pm
So how does the poor man use the bathroom now?????
It has been a year already since the croc man passed…i had read some gossip magazine that says the wife is now with his best friend
fiyah Says:
September 7th, 2007 at 3:57 pm
This reminds me… You remember that Bobbit fellow right? The guy whose wife cut his schlong off one night in a mad rage and threw it out the window of her speeding car… well I guess he did several porn films after the reattached it. Guess what the firt movie was called….
Bobbit: Uncut!
LOL
marsha Says:
September 8th, 2007 at 11:37 am
I don’t even have a penis and that sounds a little overboard to me….seems to me drug therapy would be a less traumatic way to go. Some people are just stupid. I don’t care how much you love GOD, this is insane.
blueskelton Says:
September 10th, 2007 at 8:43 am
Ouch thats nuts! No pun intended.