Categories: Offbeat News

Amsterdam, the stoner and john capital of the world (no wonder the Dutch are such a mellow people). You’d think that it couldn’t get any more liberal…until now. Amsterdam’s Red Light District now features a statue in honor of prostitutes, sculpted by a former prostitute. Guess it takes one to sculpt one. The statue is meant to show respect to the ladies of the night. Yeah, good luck with that. I don’t think prostitute will rank up there with doctor, lawyer, accountant or other notable professions. I can see it now. “Mommy, Daddy. I wanna be a prostitute when I grow up. It’s something I enjoy and it’s something I’m really good at.”

The statue, named Belle, features a full-breasted woman (what else?) feet apart and standing at a doorway, undoubtedly waiting for her next customer. And it stands in front of the Oude Kerk, Amsterdam’s oldest church. Makes sense, because Christianity and whoredom obviously mix. Belle is fortified with steel to prevent humping vandalism, and perched on a pedestal to prevent jacking off peeing. Hours before its unveiling, an old woman attacked Mariska Majoor, the woman that commissioned its design because she was unhappy about it being so close to her home. Guess she was affraid that people would come knocking asking to borrow some brown sugar, and no, not the one that fits in a cup. One question: Are they friggin’ high? No. wait…