My thoughts on…the Jesus Christ action figure
April 18th 2007 -
Old hotness: W.W.J.D. bracelets. New hotness: Jesus Christ…action figures? Yes Fishermen Inc. plans to take advantage of people’s most sacred beliefs, I mean, give a modern interpretation to this most recognizable of figures by releasing their line of “I Am” action figures. Well, they’re actually figurines, but I’m calling them action figures, as figurines are only to keep little old ladies company to fill the void of their children deserting them. Forget miracles, great teachings and founding the world’s largest religion. You know you’ve achieved true greatness when you’ve been turned into an action figure.
The “I Am” figurines feature modern interpretations of our Lord and Saviour. “I Am Freedom” features Jesus wearing jeans on a chopper. You can’t make this stuff up. “I Am Victory” has him doing a bicycle kick in a soccer uniform. “I Am Peace” shows Jesus in military gear, holding a dove in one hand. “I Am Hope” has Jesus dressed as a homeless man carrying a “Will Work 4 Food sign.” “I Am Strength” has him riding a bucking bull with a cowboy hat in his hand. “I Am Faith” features Jesus scrambling with a football. (Couldn’t Jesus just be himself for this one?) “I Am Spirit” has Jesus surfing, shooting a curl. “I Am Youth” is a skateboarding Jesus and finally you have “I Am Life,” showing a rock-climbing Jesus hanging from a cliff. There have been requests for a rock-star Jesus, but I don’t think a “I Am Debauchery” would fit in with the character’s image. Blasphemous or brilliant? You decide. Each comes with a Darwin action figure, with faith-crushing action! Ok you got me. But you gotta admit, it would be cool if they did.
Crankyputz Says:
April 19th, 2007 at 6:49 pm
Ok so this ones new to me.
Wonder if it goes well if they will expand their line to Marymadalene and Mother Mary…..The apostles will be his crew….
A kid playing with a Jesus doll, i mean would you have to get offended when they cut of the dolls hair or give it a mowhawk>??
Jdid Says:
April 19th, 2007 at 9:58 pm
shame this could only get worse if they make a jesus bobblehead
Mr. Disgruntled Says:
April 20th, 2007 at 12:23 am
This thing definitely looks like the Burger King mascot guy. Freaky.
Mr. Disgruntled
http://www.DisgruntledWorkforce.com
Jo Says:
April 24th, 2007 at 2:43 pm
What, no I Am Porno Guy? I mean, might as well. He can be dressed in nothing but whitey tighties and sitting in front of a computer with a beer in one hand and drool coming out the side. On the computer you can actually turn a little button and see not one but THREE gratuitous boobie shots.
Just a thought. Think I should run it by the company?
My thoughts on…Manga Jesus on My thoughts…on stuff Says:
February 18th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
[...] appeal to today’s youth has pretty much failed. Christian punk/metal bands, Battle Pope, Jesus Christ action figures, and don’t get me started on “Buddy Christ.” But there may just be one form of [...]