Categories: Entertainment Ramblings

Folks, I’m in love. And not just any old love, a forbidden love. I’ve fallen in love with someone I who can never embrace, whose sweet lips will never meet mine, no matter how much I wish it (man, I really hope my girlfriend isn’t reading this). Any guesses? How did you know? The pic gave her away, didn’t it? I’m talkin’ of course about the Grindhouse girl, Lee. I don’t care about its cult status or following. All I care about are the chicks (and Snake. He’s awesome). One of those beautiful women has caught my eye, the lovely Lee. And don’t think I’m one of those shallow guys. I love her for what’s on the inside too. She’s an actress, meaning she’s ambitious, and she’s got a great personality (I think). And…aww, let me just say it. She’s got a frickin’ rifle on her leg! That is so cool! That babe’s bringin’ peg legs back! Do you know the things you could do with her?

1. Anyone wanna rob you, she can just pretend to jump into your arms in fear, then you can unload it on ‘em!
2. No guy would wanna mess around with her.
3. You would be the envy of the local rifle club.
4. I saw a pic of her blowing smoke off her gun. Such flexibility is much sought after.
5. The both of you would finally have something masculine to talk about.

Now here are the disadvantages of having a girl like her around.

1. During lovemaking, you’d have to make sure that the rifle doesn’t go off and shoot something, worse you. Wouldn’t want her gun making yours useless.
2. Do not piss her off during her time of the month.
3. If you cheat on her, RUN! DO NOT WALK!

See, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. But then again, maybe it can happen, as she is played by a real life actress, Rose McGowan, and…aww, my chances are pretty much the same. I’ve never felt this way since the days of my youth when I fantasized about being with Amy Jo Johnson. (crickets chirp). Don’t you know Amy Jo Johnson? (Crickets chirp.) You know, the Pink Ranger? (Crickets leave.)