My thoughts on…Paris Hilton’s new b00bs

March 21st 2007 -

I really don’t know why I’m doing this. This will be another in a long line of articles about that overprivileged skank Paris Hilton. And as much as I don’t want to play my part in keeping her in the public eye, I somehow feel compelled to. That’s the kind of hold she has over myself and the rest of the media. Anyway, back to the post at hand. Paris Hilton’s once small breasts have turned into huge knockers overnight, and many are asking “surgery or push-up bra?” If she really is wearing a push-up bra then this may just be what millions of grandmas have been waiting for. More than likely she had surgery. Don’t know why. She seemed fine being head of the itty-bitty-titty committee. But I guess she wasn’t satisfied with the amount of sexual attention her sex tape, making out in public, boob flashes, adult video awards and camera phone nudie pics.

But there’s one possibility people haven’t considered. Maybe when she went down on Cee Lo of Gnarls Barkley, his man juice ran down her chest and the high fat content caused some sort of reaction with one or more of the STIs in her vast collection and caused her boobs to swell. I followed some stray links to that pic, and trust me, it made me gasp. Good thing there were censor bars over it to prevent me from going completely blind. Well I guess when you’re famous for being famous, you need something to keep your name in the tabloids and to distract from your glaring failures as an actress, singer, and all-around human being.

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13 Responses on “My thoughts on…Paris Hilton’s new b00bs”

M Says:
March 21st, 2007 at 8:32 pm
Train wreck as a human being but yet you blog about her? Hmmm..the girl is doing something right. I think she’s a genius. She’s famous for nothing, gets paid gobs of cash, never really speaks, and has been in the public eye for well over 5 years! She’s not a flash in the pan, people are indeed fascinated with her. There’s some very clever marketing going on.
De Immigrant Says:
March 21st, 2007 at 8:55 pm
The rich just get richer. They know what they are doing, all this publicity, clean and dirty, is all planned. When you wonder about why these public figures do what they do just focus on one thing: FOLLOW THE MONEY, then this the picture becomes really clear.
Leon Says:
March 21st, 2007 at 9:08 pm
I agree M. Though I am a free thinking individual, the girl still has some sort of hold on me, and the media in general.
Mighty Afroditee Says:
March 21st, 2007 at 9:44 pm
Maybe something bit her and there is swelling…
Behind Blue Eyes Says:
March 22nd, 2007 at 9:43 am
Definitely fake boobs. No push-up could do that. It looks stupid! I think Paris is smarter than people give her credit for…though I do think she is really skanky! I wonder how her parents feel? I’ve always thought that it was wierd to have a porno tape etc…and have your parents know about it. And if they are tolerant of such behavior then maybe the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
Crankyputz Says:
March 22nd, 2007 at 10:12 am
Hehhe I like Afroditee’s assessment..As for the potency of Barley’s juices causing things to grow…well now….btw I had and still have no idea who that is….
taylor2nd Says:
March 22nd, 2007 at 10:40 am
blogged this a while back.. like the day after the image leaked. i gotta say they look really really really really nice. but i think i need a groping test before i can compliment.. cuase its still all about the feel when it comes down to it.
cool destiny Says:
March 22nd, 2007 at 10:50 am
Leon, this may be one of your most hilarious posts yet! I have 4 words for you, fake, fake, fake, fake. A push up bra is a little too traditional for publicity hog like Paris. My boobs look like that and they are 100% au naturale!
Jdid Says:
March 22nd, 2007 at 5:06 pm
I knew nothing of both storis the new boobs or the cee lo thing. thanks for the info
Ricardo Says:
March 23rd, 2007 at 8:25 am
Not a very elegant look for her. I prefer the original set.
Mad Bull Says:
March 24th, 2007 at 10:41 pm
@ Leon : Did she really do gnarls Barkley? Who or what is a Cee Lo.

@ CD - I don’t believe yours look like that, send me a pic to prove it
Abeni Says:
March 26th, 2007 at 11:40 am
like she don’t know smal is the bomb..okay am jealous cos I flat:)
taylor2nd Says:
March 26th, 2007 at 3:33 pm
i agree @ madbull.. we need proof CD We can handle the truth