My thoughts on…the 64th annual Golden Globe Awards

January 16th 2007 -

As you know, the Golden Globe Awards took place last night, or as I like to call them, the NOT Oscars. I didn’t watch all of this latest in a long line of self-congratulatory award shows, as I was watching Enterprise. In fact, I watched virtually none of it. The only thing I saw was part of Jeremy Irons’ long winded acceptance speech. I couldn’t stand watching all of it. The only thing worse than a long winded acceptance speech is a long winded acceptance speech by a Brit, especially when they try to crack a joke. The British accent is a rather serious one. That’s probably why there aren’t much British comedians around. I saw the post and pre award shows. That counts for something right? You can’t blame me for my lack of interest. I’m not really into award shows. Most of the movies I’ve never heard of, let alone seen. I really don’t care about the hot fashions the starlets are wearing, and I don’t care about how much work you put into capturing the gayness of your character. For those who were actually rooting for Hollywood finest, here’s a run down of who won:

Cecil B. DeMille Award: Warren Beatty
Best Motion Picture - Drama: Babel
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama: Helen Mirren – The Queen
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama: Forest Whitaker – The Last King Of Scotland
Best Motion Picture - Musical Or Comedy: Dreamgirls
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy: Meryl Streep – The Devil Wears Prada
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical Or Comedy: Sacha Baron Cohen – Borat: Cultural Learnings Of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan
Best Performance by an Actress In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture: Jennifer Hudson – Dreamgirls
Best Performance by an Actor In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture: Eddie Murphy – Dreamgirls
Best Animated Feature Film: Cars
Best Foreign Languge Film: Letters From Iwo Jima
Best Director - Motion Picture: Martin Scorsese – The Departed
Best Screenplay - Motion Picture: The Queen
Best Original Score - Motion Picture: The Painted Veil
Best Original Song - Motion Picture: “The Song Of The Heart” – Happy Feet
Best Television Series - Drama: Grey’s Anatomy
Best Performance by an Actress In A Television Series - Drama: Kyra Sedgwick – The Closer
Best Performance by an Actor In A Television Series - Drama: Hugh Laurie – House
Best Television Series - Musical Or Comedy: Ugly Betty
Best Performance by an Actress In A Television Series - Musical Or Comedy: America Ferrera – Ugly Betty
Best Performance by an Actor In A Television Series - Musical Or Comedy: Alec Baldwin – 30 Rock
Best Mini-Series Or Motion Picture Made for Television: Elizabeth I
Best Performance by an Actress In A Mini-series or Motion Picture Made for Television: Helen Mirren – Elizabeth I
Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television: Bill Nighy – Gideon’s Daughter
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television: Emily Blunt – Gideon’s Daughter
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television: Jeremy Irons – Elizabeth I

Is it over? Good. For a minute there I thought I was gonna get Carpal Tunnel. The TV show categories were the ones I had some passing interest in. After all, I do watch some of them. Congrats to Hugh Laurie and Alec Baldwin. I love House and 30 Rock. Congrats to you as well Eddie Murphy. Now you can hit Mel B over the head with your award AND disown her child! Martin Scorsese, hope the win eases the pain of not having won an Oscar. Hope they don’t screw you over this year. Sacha, I’m glad you won. It’s not every day someone makes a train wreck of a movie and wins an award for it. You’re an inspiration to wannabe filmakers everywhere. To the rest of the winners, I don’t really care, but thumbs up nonetheless. I leave you with Sacha’s speech, which I’m so sad I missed.

“I want to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press. And I just want to say this movie was a life-changing experience. I saw some amazing, beautiful, invigorating parts of America. But I saw some dark parts of America. An ugly side of America. A side of America that rarely sees the light of day. I refer, of course, to the anus and testicles of my co-star Ken Davitian. Ken, as I…when I was in that scene, and I stared down and saw your two wrinkled Golden Globes on my chin, I thought to myself, ‘I’d better win a bloody award for this.’ And then when my 300 pound co-star decided to sit on my face and squeeze the oxygen from my lungs, I was faced with a choice: death, or to breathe in the air that had been trapped in a small pocket between his buttocks for 30 years. Kenneth, if it was not for that rancid bubble, I would not be here today.”

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8 Responses on “My thoughts on…the 64th annual Golden Globe Awards”

Maritza Says:
January 16th, 2007 at 9:37 pm
I’m glad to see that “Dream Girls” got so many nominations. When was the last time an all black movie received so much acclaim? “The Color Purple” was the last movie I can think of.

I saw “The Queen” and it was very good, not great. I’d like to see “Babel” but will wait for it on DVD.
Peety Says:
January 17th, 2007 at 5:00 am
YOu do not want to SEE babel. It is worth seeing ONLY on DVD. (but that is my opinion). Wishing you a wonderful day!! *hugs*
Mighty Afroditee Says:
January 17th, 2007 at 8:20 am
Hate award shows. Narcissism at its best.
JC Skinner Says:
January 17th, 2007 at 3:54 pm
There aren’t many British comedians? Are you mental, or just a typical insular and xenophobic American who doesn’t know better?
Even as an Irishman, I have to admit they’re the funniest people on Earth and probably always have been!
Leon Says:
January 17th, 2007 at 6:00 pm
For your information, I’m not American, so get your facts straight before you fly off the handle. Secondly, name one British comedian. One FAMOUS one.
Anonymous Says:
January 18th, 2007 at 1:28 pm
Hmm John Cleese, Eric Idle, (hell..all of Monty Python), Benny Hill, for starters…go easy on him jc…he’s just a kid.
Leon Says:
January 18th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
Ok. I’ll give you that. But most of them are comedians from a bygone era. John Cleese is the only recent one in the list.
Maritza Says:
January 23rd, 2007 at 8:55 pm
Baron Sasha Cohen (Borat) is British and funny. I can’t think of any others that are young and funny…