Categories: Offbeat News

“I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can’t deny”

-Sir Mix-A-Lot, I Like Big Butts

Guess what ladies? Wonderbra has invented panties with pads in the back that will give women a more rounded backside. So all you women with little or no “junk in the trunk,” (white women, this means you), can now compete with those black and hispanic women causing your boyfriends’ eyes to wander. Yes Becky, big butts are in now. Gone are the days when a girl was mocked for having plentiful assets. If a girl asks “Does my butt look big?” and you answer “yes”, you’re actually paying her a compliment. This is all thanks to J-Lo and the countless black women who showed off what their mamas gave ‘em. But I’ve gotta give props to the white women with formidable posteriors. Maybe they’re some of the few who don’t count calories while eating a fruit salad.

But before you girls rush to store shelves, think. Will the attraction last after the guy cops a feel and realizes the booty he fell in love with is fake? Then again, I’ve never known a woman whose fake breasts caused her to lose a man, so I guess the same principle should apply. My girlfriend packs tons o’ booty. That’s one of the reasons I talked to her in the first place. Don’t tell her that though. She thinks it’s because of her “personality.” Saturday night, she was complaining to me that she was having trouble finding the right pair of jeans because her butt was too big. So you see girls, having a big butt is not all it’s cracked up to be. Nah! Just trying to make you feel better. Big butts are awesome!