Categories: Celebrity

Osama Bin Laden is many things. Terrorist, Muslim, father, husband, “defender of the Muslim faith”. But he’s also a fan, and when he’s not busy plotting to destroy those infidels from the West, he’s busy rockin’ in his cave with his IPod to music from his favourite artiste, Whitney Houston. Yes folks, Osama Bin Laden, the most dangerous man on the face of the earth, has a crush on Whitney Houston. Aww.

So says Kola Boof, ex sex-slave of Bin Laden. She says he couldn’t stop talking about her. He had great plans for her, including giving her one of his mansions and making her one of his wives. He would say how beautiful she is, how truly Islamic she is but is brainwashed by American culture and her husband Bobby Brown. Well if you call being frail, rarely seen and in constant terror of your husband then yeah, Whitney’s islamic to the bone. He even wanted to have Bobby killed. Well if he did, it would do us all a favour by getting that damn reality show off the air!

She also said that Bin Laden also kept copies of Playboy. Naughty naughty Osama. Finally! A solution to the war on terror! Simply send Whitney into the hills of Afghanistan, singing “I Will Always Love You,” and wait for him to pop out of his little gopher hole. When he does, take him out. A lot more sensible than many of Bush’s “strategeries.”