My thoughts on…the 26th annual Razzie Awards
March 7th 2006 -
The Oscars have passed. The red carpet has been rolled up, the media hounds are chasing new stories and those fabulous dresses have been put away, never to be worn again. Despite that, some buzz still remains. But while a revered Hollywood institution was gearing up to honour Hollywood’s finest, another was dishonouring Hollywood’s worst. The Golden Raspberry Foundation held The Razzies on the 4th of March. You didn’t know? Of course you didn’t. Hollywood controls the media, and the media controls the masses, including you. Break free from Hollywood’s oppression! Fight the power!
I published a post earlier in the year about my predictions for the winners. Let’s see how they stack up against the actual results. Here’s the complete list. The “winners” are:
Worst Screenplay – Prediction: Son of the Mask
Winner: Dirty Love
Worst Director - Prediction: John Asher
Winner: John Asher
Worst Remake or Sequel - Prediction: House of Wax
Winner: Son of the Mask
Worst Screen Couple - Prediction: Rob Schneider and his diapers
Winner: Will Ferrell and Nicole Kidman
Worst Supporting Actress - Prediction: Paris Hilton
Winner: Paris Hilton
Worst Supporting Actor - Prediction: Hayden Christensen
Winner: Hayden Christensen
Most Tiresome Tabloid Targets - Prediction: Paris Hilton and…Who-ever
Winner: Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Oprah Winfrey’s Couch, The Eiffel Tower & “Tom’s Baby”
Worst Actress – Prediction: Tara Reid
Winner: Jenny McCarthy
Worst Actor - Prediction: Will Ferrell
Winner: Rob Schneider
Worst Picture – Prediction: Son of the Mask
Winner: Dirty Love
30% correct. Disappointing, but the winners deserved every ounce of humiliation. Unlike the Oscar awards, which will be prominently displayed on the fireplaces and in the award cabinets of the winners, the Razzie awards will probably be stashed in the basement or the garage, a source of eternal shame. So here’s to you Razzie winners. The rest of us can take comfort in the fact that though you may be rich, beautiful and famous, you can still suck. And suck hard.
Kaschief Says:
March 7th, 2006 at 3:06 pm
Son of the Who? House of the What? When did these movies exist? Better yet, when were they awarded. Now I know why it’s called the Razzies, Pbbphtttt……!!!! LOL! Some of the actors/actresses will accept the awards gracefully..(if Halle Berry’s acceptance was anything to go by), I know Paris Hilton probably accepted very bumptiously. “Oh, thats SO HOT! I wanna thank my mom, Nicki Hilton, all my ex-boyfriends, and everybody else for believing in me. I knew I could do it. Yeah, like, Totally.” Tom Cruise and Oprah’s couch won for Tabloid Target this year? It’ll be Brangelina and their well-to-do big-lipped, blue eyes, blonde hair, kickboxer, superstar baby next year.
Msnhim Says:
March 7th, 2006 at 4:03 pm
Just wanted to stop bye and check out your site.
Abeni Says:
March 7th, 2006 at 7:17 pm
Lets hope the stars can have a sense of humour and proudly display their razzie.After all some people never win anything in hollywood.lol
T. Says:
March 7th, 2006 at 10:13 pm
I can never predict who will win at awards shows either.
Tara Reid really sucks. Maybe they should have had a tie and given them both an award. They at least could have added a category and given her Biggest Slut or something like that.
Crazy Like A Fox Says:
March 7th, 2006 at 11:22 pm
I’m glad to see Tom and Katie got a Razzie. He makes me so mad I could spit and apparently I’m not the only one.
cube Says:
March 8th, 2006 at 1:29 pm
I loved what they said about Hayden Christensen. It was a hoot.
Jenn of the Jungle Says:
March 8th, 2006 at 7:00 pm
You didn’t do so bad. I personally like the Razzies better than the Oscars. : )
Omni Says:
March 8th, 2006 at 11:25 pm
Hello from America!!
(Click here if you dare)
Maritza Says:
March 9th, 2006 at 7:54 am
I prefer the Razzie’s to the Oscars any day!