My thoughts on…the 78th Annual Academy Awards

March 6th 2006 -

Yesterday, the 78th Annual Academy Awards was held. This self-congratulatory event, the biggest on the Hollywood calendar, was chockfull of celebrities. They were there to honour nominees for movies such as Brokeback Mountain, Crash, Capote and a bunch of others you’ve never seen or heard of before. You have to give Hollywood some props. Most of the time it is a ruthless money making machine, but the vast majority of the nominees were low-budget films that didn’t make much money, but had strong messages. Millions tuned in, in an effort to escape their painfully mundane lives and capture some of Hollywood’s glamour. I just tuned in because I knew the world would be talking about it tomorrow. Plus I had nothing better to do.

I started my Oscar coverage by watching the red carpet show. What the hell was I thinking! How dare I disturb the laws of nature and watch something that all straight men avoid like the plague! I don’t care what Halle Berry is wearing, what fabric, what designer, what style. You know what I’d like to know? How to take off what Halle Berry is wearing! I don’t care how hot the celebrity is, the fashion review will kill any urge you have. And that old hag Joan Rivers doesn’t make it any easier. If you, a straight male, can look at a dress and identify the designer and form an opinion, you need to stop lying to yourself. You’re gay!

15 minutes into it and was overwhelmed by the need to sleep. When I woke up, I missed about half hour of the Oscars, including Jon Stewart’s performance. Damn! That was my main reason for watching. He performed as expected, professionalism mixed with humour. His political satire was also present, especially evident with the political campaign spoofs for the nominees. For me the biggest shocker was 36 Mafia’s performance and Oscar win. I tell you, the Oscars are getting blacker and blacker each year. I was also shocked when Brokeback didn’t win for Best Picture. Not like I was rooting for it or anything, but considering the hype I thought it would win for sure. And for the first time ever, I actually watched all of the Oscars! I wonder why. Maybe it was because I’m now going to college and can therefore stay up longer. Maybe its because I felt determined to watch it this year no matter how boring it was. Maybe it’s because I’m older and can therefore appreciate such an event. Nah! It was because of the theme. Black and white. Very nice.

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6 Responses on “My thoughts on…the 78th Annual Academy Awards”

The Chad Says:
March 6th, 2006 at 6:24 pm
Come on, Three 6 Mafia actually winning an Oscar? How awesome is that? Seriously shows how the rather explicit can still gain there deserved credit.
RC Says:
March 6th, 2006 at 6:50 pm
Interesting thought on the academy getting blacker & blacker…especially when there were so many black nominees in the acting catagories this year.

or maybe not.

–RC of strangeculture.blogspot.com
Abeni Says:
March 6th, 2006 at 7:37 pm
lol,it’s easy being a pimp.
Kaschief Says:
March 6th, 2006 at 7:51 pm
LOL! So funny… I just skipped through and paused once in a while on the show. I guess I dont particularly have the liking for superficial dispensing of copper honors to people who are already “honored” with millions of dollars from the paychecks of their respective films. However, I was glad that Reese Witherspoon won best actress. She deserved it. Such a wonderful and beautiful actress. What I find to be interesting is the screen being split into multiples with each displaying the anticipatory faces of the nominees as the award is about to be announced. Naturally, they all practiced their ‘gracious loser’ face. Would be particularly HILARIOUS if one of the losers started railing while the camera was still on them:
“WHAT THE HELL!! I DESERVED THAT DAMN AWARD!!! I DRESSED UP AS A WOMAN PLAYING A MAN, HOW THE HELL SHOULD SOME LITTLE LEGALLY BLONDE BITCH GET THIS!!”

“Honey…the camera is on you”

“Oh, I forgot…[smiles]…you go Reese…congratulations”.

LOL @ your reference to Joan Rivers as a Old Hag. Did you see Shrek 2? Their rendition of her was dead-on! Oh, shoot…i’m rambling on in your comments section. I should stop. Sorry. Later.
TheHamburger Says:
March 6th, 2006 at 9:11 pm
If I had to hear those dumbasses hoot and hollar for one more second I was going to puke…those guys were an embarassment…
Renée Says:
March 7th, 2006 at 9:35 am
I missed Jon’s opening monologue, too. Darn it.