My thoughts…on stuff

Guess what today is? That’s right, it’s Fat Tuesday, Mardi Gras! The New Orleans tradition is back for another year, nearly 6 months after Katrina hit. I saw some of the coverage on CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360º. Mr. Cooper was busy flinging beads from his float to the eager crowd on the sidelines. Apart from the usual drunken debauchery, this Mardi Gras has a special symbolism to it. It’s the rebirth of New Orleans (or at least the recovery).

I had no idea that Mardi Gras could be “family friendly.” I thought it was only about drunken college girls doing things they’ll regret later or middle aged women trying to feel sexually attractive after years of being ignored by their husbands. But then again, my knowledge of Mardi Gras is little more than what I see on the Girls Gone Wild commercials. Apparently, that behaviour happens in the French Quarter. Oh, and why didn’t Pat Robertson blame Katrina on the raucous behaviour at Mardi Gras? Just a thought.

I know that the people of New Orleans want to show America and the rest of the world that they have moved on, but couldn’t some of the money go towards the rebuilding of New Orleans? Couldn’t they spare a little expense on the floats and costumes and give some money to the needy, because after Mardi Gras, then what? Should people simply return to the desolate lands that used to be their homes? Hopefully the profits from Mardi Gras will help the relief effort. Oh, and it’s also Shrove Tuesday, you godless heathen!

On February 25, 2006, a few hours after the PNP general elections, Jamaica’s new prime minister was announced. Before the announcement, the current prime minister, PJ Patterson, reminded the PNP that regardless of the results, it remains one party. The crowd fell deathly silent as he read the results. Out of 3,808 votes, Karl Blythe 204, Omar Davies 283, Peter Phillips 1,538 and Portia Simpson-Miller 1,775. Immediately Portia supporters burst into cheer, proudly waving their flags of yellow (the “Team Portia” colour). So at that moment, Portia Simpson-Miller became Jamaica’s 1st female prime minister.

She made her way through the crowd and up to the podium. With tears in her eyes, she delivered her speech. Firstly, she thanked God, then her supporters and campaign team. She reiterated PJ’s call for party unity and even went as far as embracing two of her competitors, Omar Davies and Karl Blythe. A wonderful speech in my view.

I’m a little disappointed that Peter didn’t win, but Portia was my second choice. And after careful thought, she really is the best of the lot. She’s the most popular candidate, she can cross party lines, she has a humble attitude, she’s spiritual and she’s seen as a caring person. She also led a terrific campaign. She should make a great prime minister, and maybe, just maybe, she’s the hope that Jamaica has been long waiting for. This is another in a growing trend, women occupying seats of political power. Liberia, Chile, Germany, and now Jamaica. Who knows? Maybe America will be next with Hilary Clinton? Ok, let’s not get carried away.

More often than not, the world is taken with Yankee politics. But while the rest of the world is wondering what Curious George and his administration are up to, Jamaicans are concerned about a more pressing political matter, the PNP presidential elections. It was held at Jamaica College today and ended little over 2 1/2 hours ago.

The Jamaican media was covering the event non-stop. The four contenders and their supporters were out in full force. The supporters were dressed in a Carnival like fashion, decked out in the colours of their chosen candidates.The police and military were on standby, because Jamaicans tend to get “passionate” about politics. But the only assaults that took place at the event were verbal. The Portia and Peter camps were the largest. Omar’s was a close third. Karl Blythe had a small following, despite the Prime Minister’s endorsement on Friday. Yesterday was the Prime Minister’s last day in office. As much as he is reviled by the common man, I think I’m going to miss him. He was the only Prime Minister I ever knew, being in power for so long.

I feel nervous and excited, as if I was a contender myself. But as excited as I am about the elections, my father does not share my enthusiasm. He has absolutely no faith in the political process. He is in his mid 40’s, yet has never voted in his entire life. He dislikes both political parties, and believes that the elections will be about choosing the lesser of the four evils (Now I know where I got my cynicism from). I await the results with baited breath, because the winner will not only lead the PNP, but will decide the immediate fate of the nation.

Mortal Kombat. It’s one of the most violent video game franchises of all time, with enough gore and carnage to make Hannibal Lecter’s mouth water. But nothing could prepare me for the Mortal Kombat commercial so violent that it was banned from the airwaves. And judging by the fact that Fear Factor is still on the air, TV’s standards are pretty low. Yes, it’s that brutal. It is entitled “Blood on the Carpet”, and was created for Mortal Kombat: Shaolin Monks. I found it on a digg post, and even a hardcore MK fan like myself was pretty surprised by its brutality. So if you think you have the stomach for it, klick here!

Yes folks, Brokeback Mountain has finally made its way to Jamaica. I saw it on the Palace Cineplex billboard while heading to school yesterday morning. I said to myself “So those gay cowboys have made their way to Jamaica. Surprising that the Jamaican public didn’t have anything to say about it.” But the Jamaican people did have something to say, as I found out on the way home from school. The Star, Jamaica’s most popular tabloid, carried the headline “No to gay movie.” Not surprising, as homosexuality is taboo in Jamaica. In fact, it’s downright illegal.

Now before you gay advocates out there start posting hateful comments, understand that Jamaica is a very conservative country. Our laws are based on those of the Holy Bible, and the Bible says that homosexuality is immoral. That’s our belief. That’s our culture. DEAL WITH IT! Personally, I’m tired of hearing about Brokeback Mountain, the awards, the jokes and the parodies. Oh Brokeback Mountain, I wish the media knew how to quit you!

With only 3 days until the announcement of Jamaica’s new prime minister, the PNP leadership race has almost come to an end, and it gets fiercer with each passing day. Local TV stations are constantly airing the aspirants’ campaign ads. Newspapers too. The members of the party themselves are feeling the pressure too as they must side with their chosen candidates without jeopardizing the unity of the party. Chances are you’re not Jamaican, so I’ll brief you on the candidates so you can decide for yourself who you think is the best choice to lead the nation.

Portia Simpson-Miller
Pros: Came from humble beginnings, can connect with the poor. Has charisma. Very popular.
Cons: Not seen as intellectually equipped to lead the country. Jamaica may not be ready for a female prime minister.

Peter Phillips
Pros: Seen as the intellectual of the group. Has proven leadership ability. Very popular.
Cons: Can’t connect with the poor.

Omar Davies
Pros: Seems ready to tackle the big issues. Realistic, doesn’t make empty promises.
Cons: Viewed as arrogant. Has not done very well as Minister of Finance.

Karl Blythe
Pros: People person. Good track record.
Cons: Multi-million dollar scandal hanging over his head. Viewed as the weakest candidate.

My personal choice is Peter Phillips. He seems trustworthy (as far as politicians go) and has done reasonably well in his present post as Minister of Security. He was definitely more visible than his predecessor. Portia and Peter are leading in the polls and more than likely it will boil down to a match between the two of them. Who will win? Watch this space.

The 2006 Winter Olympics continue in earnest. It’s now day 12 of the event. Though I’m no sports fan, whenever the Olympics rolls around, I’m a part of the throng, whooping and hollering with the rest of them. Except for the Winter Olympics. For me, the Winter Olympics isn’t really Olympics, because the Olympics is a global event, and as far as I see, only Europe, the U.S and parts of Asia are participating in the Winter Olympics. There aren’t even any black people in the Winter Olympics (or not enough to be visible!) Which leads me to one universal fact: black people don’t like the cold. What other reason could there be? Black people dominate just about every sport – except those involving low temperatures. Basketball – Michael Jordan. Golf – Tiger Woods. Baseball – Barry Bonds. Figure Skating – Michelle Kwan? Exactly.

Plus some of the sports are “extreme” ones that no black person in his or her right mind would ever do, like luging for instance. Realize only white people do these things? Reaching speeds of up to 100 mph down a steep hill with only 2 inches ground clearance? They probably participate in those sports because they’re bored of their typical suburban lives. Black people? Heh. Dodging stray bullets while picking up groceries is excitement enough! Yeah, I know, I’ve turned the Winter Olympics into a race issue and probably alienated some white people. But I make no apologies for my observation. So until the Winter Olympics ends, go team US! They’re the only team I can cheer for anyway.

The Dick Cheney hunting accident has made numerous headlines, and given birth to many jokes. The incident was lampooned by just about every American late night show, such as The Daily Show, The Late Show, Jimmy Kimmel Live and The Tonight Show. For those who didn’t catch these jokes, here’s an archive of them. It has become such a big issue that I just had to take my shot at it (Sorry, couldn’t resist).

Those whiny Liberals are using this to attack the Bush administration yet again, because everyone knows that recreational hunting has a great deal to do with politics. I know it’s fun to see the old bastard squirm and all, but really, is it right to make light of such an unfortunate incident? Shouldn’t we consider Cheney’s feelings? What if we we’re in his shoes and nearly took the life of one of our closest friends? Nah! I mean c’mon, the guy ain’t dead. He’s fine.

People are also concerned as to why the news was released 20 hours after the incident, and by people I mean big newspapers like The New York Times and The Washington Post. We’ll, excuse Mr. Cheney for being more concerned about his friend’s well-being than for providing the cover page story for newspapers nationwide. To his credit, Cheney showed true calibre (Ok, that’s the last one, I swear!) when he spoke on the incident with Fox News’ Brit Hume. The interview almost made him seem human, almost. He said that “It was something I will never forget” and that “It was one of the worst days of my life.” Well, one thing’s for sure, when bird hunting with Cheney, it’s better to be a bird than his hunting partner.

Yesterday, at 5 p.m, Kenneth Hall was made Jamaica’s new Governor-General. Kenneth Hall, who was UWI’s former Pro-Vice Chancellor and Principal, became the country’s 5th Governor-General, replacing Sir Howard Cooke. The new Governor-General immediately declared his agenda, such as focusing on the youth and building social capital.

For those who don’t know, the Governor-General acts as the Queen’s representative, and is the highest position in the land. And even though colonialism is a thing of the past, it is still a great honour. I believe Mr. Hall will make an excellent Governor-General, and Sir Howard Cooke thinks so too, describing him as “an able an astute younger man.” 2006 seems to be the year of political change for Jamaica, because in addition to the new GG taking office, the successor to P.J Patterson will be announced in a few days.

It’s here again. The time of year that every single person dreads, Valentine’s Day. I HATE VALENTINE’S DAY! I hate everything about it, the commercialization, the sickening sentiment, the abundance of red and pink, everything! And it’s especially worse for me this year because I actually made attempt to get a Valentine! I asked a young lady in my class whom I’ve had a bit of a crush on. With butterflies in my stomach and a frog in my throat, I popped the question. She said no, she already had a Valentine, but I could buy her chocolates if I want. Yeah, so you and your Valentine can consume them while gazing longingly into each other’s eyes. No thank you.

I like being single. I like the freedom and focus it brings, and Valentine’s Day is the only day out of the 365 in which I actually regret being single. It does a number on your self-esteem, and makes you feel like the Jewish kid that sits alone while all the other kids are comparing Christmas presents. Good thing I have enough to keep myself from engaging in a desperate search for a 1-day Valentine like many singles do.

Who knows, maybe I’m just bitter because I’m single and therefore can’t participate. But that’s highly unlikely, because even when I wasn’t single I still hated Valentine’s Day. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever had a Valentine. It’s kind of ironic that I have so much hatred channeled towards a holiday that celebrates love. I’ll just stay in my room and do something to pass the time while I wait for Cupid’s little romp to end.