My thoughts…on stuff

I know, I know, I’m Jamaican and we don’t celebrate thanksgiving, but since its the season, might as well talk about it. This is the time of year that turkeys dread (at least its giving the poor chickens a break.) Every Thanksgiving millions of them are pumped up with steroids like any pro athlete. Wait, scratch that, not nearly as much. Then they are slaughtered in celebration of this holiday. Families stuff themselves to bursting with their deep-fried carcasses, and thousands of people burn themselves trying to create these wondrous feasts.

But not all turkeys end up on the dinner table. It turns out that this year is the 58th anniversary of the National Thanksgiving Turkey presentation, a tradition I was unaware of until recently. The National Thanksgiving turkey is granted a “pardon”, and is allowed to live its life in peace at Frying Pan Park in Fairfax County. The winners this year were “Marshmallow and Yam”, and will be taken instead to Disneyland Theme Park and Resort, where they will be part of the holiday parade, and serve as honorary Grand Marshals for Disneyland’s Annual Thanksgiving Day Parade. That’s a bit cruel though. Sure, it may look like an honour, but it’s like the KKK killing thousands of blacks and have two join their march. But who cares! An animal that will drown if it stares at the sky while it’s raining surely won’t mind. But I guess all the killing is appropriate, because the same Pilgrims who shared the first Thanksgiving with the Indians eventually slaughtered them, stole their land and destroyed their way of life. Some gratitude.

People like to say what they’re thankful for. They’ll say the usual, life, friends, family, health, possessions, etc. But I think most people will agree with me on this - I’m sure glad I’m not a turkey! So if you don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, still remember to be thankful. For those whose do, give thanks and devour your stuffed carcass like the greedy bastard you are. So, a Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours! Watch out for bird flu now!